Fixing Her

Part III

"Maybe that's all life is, a wink of the eye and winking stars." Jack Kerouac

Part III

Two long months in college and I didn't even have one friend. Two long months and the only interesting thing that happened in my silent life was me tripping and falling on my way out of a lecture theatre. It felt like death, though I didn't know what death felt like, but I was pretty sure it was close. I didn't actually hate my life, no, that would be like saying you hate nuts because you're allergic to them. I think I was allergic to my life. It made me itch. Itch with this desire to just LIVE. I wanted to do things, to be a part of this movement called Life. But something was holding me back, something I knew I had no power to change, something dark and maybe a bit scary...My life was a sham and even though I wasn't grateful for it, I was grateful for Amy.

Amy and I got along really well, though we didn't spend much time together, the moment we came together, it was a blast. She was smart and knowledgeable. She was so witty and funny without ever being mean, but we were worlds apart. Whereas she was into music and movies and wine- the girl loved wine- I was more of a nerd if anything. I loved studying and reading, I enjoyed maths and preferred to spend my time working on numbers. But Amy, she was so full of life, so full of laughter and just pure genuine big heart.

She spent half of her time with her handsome boyfriend, Xavier, and the other half with crazy Kaisy. Turned out, Kaisy wasn't as crazy as I first took her to be, she was just a nice individual like her best friend. But she still couldn't form a sentence without 'Omigod', in the short span of time I came to know her.

The one thing I admired about Amy though, was her unfailing respect for my space. It was like she could read my mind, when I wanted to be left alone, she left me alone, when I felt like chatting, she never failed to exchange words with me. She also respected my sense of privacy, I was not a very open person, I barely talked about anything personal with her, maybe because I did not want to freak her out. My personal story, the lived moments of my life were like poison, I wouldn't want to intoxicate such a kind being with my horrid life. She tried, although gently to get me to talk, but I couldn't. I wouldn't. There were things in my life, stuff, events, moments and bottled up emotions that haunted me. I didn't want to bring them to life. My father would understand...but so did Amy, even without the knowledge of such events. I knew about her, not much, but enough. She truly was a blast, I liked her and I liked living with her even more. 

**

Seeing Taylor for the first time was like the sight of a shooting star. So perfectly beautiful, captivating, unexpectedly enchanting and yet so short lived. The swift fading smile he flashed me before he disappeared left me entranced and breathless. 

It's weird how sometimes we get this sudden determination and bravery to just do things. Things we never imagined doing, things which we later regret or come to appreciate, things that propel us forward in life or hold us back and maybe break or make us. But this determination and bravery to live life was all new to me. I always did things by the book, always the good child, until I saw the studio. It was late at night to be taking a walk, but I needed a break from all the anxiety and stress that college presented. 

I had this sense of rebelliousness just by merely looking at it, really looking at it. Observing as an old couple walked out there smiling; I couldn't help but wonder, what would it be like if I just went inside. Maybe I'd come out smiling too. I've seldom passed by the place, but I never really paid much attention to it. The Inked: Tattoo and Piercing , what a terrible name for a tattoo studio. I think if I were to own my studio, I'd name it something more...fierce and aggressive. After all, that's what tattoos are about, right? Well maybe not...