Fixing Her

Part XI

"What matters most is how well you walk through fire."  Charles Bukowksi 

Part XI

Damian Taylor

I tried to hold it all back inside, the anger, the frustration and a sense of helplessness. I tried to enclose it all but seeing her so defeated and broken. I have never seen her like that. She's always so cheerful and carefree. How could I have missed it? 

When I saw Johanna break down like she did, I have never been more enraged in my life. I felt all sorts of shitty emotions, things I never thought I was capable of feeling but the anger was what stood out. So much anger and bitterness. I wanted to kill him.

And so as I saw him sitting there, in the hospital waiting room, I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't tell whether I was running or floating towards him, but when my fisted hand came in contact with his jaw. I lost it. I could hear people screaming around the room, women crying hysterically and children shouting in fear. But I couldn't care less. The bastard deserved it.

I could hear him grunting and trying to fight  me, but what I felt inside was a hurricane, he was no match for it. I punched his face, his jaws, his stomach, I kept punching, hard and fast. There was blood coming out from somewhere, his face or my hand, all that mattered was that he felt the pain I was feeling. I wanted to finish him. I could hear his muffled cries as he begged me to stop, he kept wailing, trying to hold my hands back as I continued to mercilessly hit his face.

He didn't even deserve to live and at that point, that was all that mattered. I wanted him dead.

When I felt multiple hands trying to stop me, I tried pushing them away. The strong hands held me back, dragging me away from Jim's now motionless body. I fought to launch myself at him, but the hands were too tight on me, I kept kicking, shouting god-knows what. I wasn't done with the turd, I wanted him in pieces. But the four security guards that were holding me back were too strong and somehow managed to drag me away.

"I'll fucking kill that son of a bitch." I didn't even recognise my voice. What a fuck-turd he was. How could a human being be so despicable? 

I continued to fight, wanting to go back and end the life of the man who dared to hurt my girl. I wanted him to feel how she felt all those years. Oh God, how could he have been so hurtful toward such an innocent person. Johanna, my poor girl. 

I could feel the rage building up again, meddled with so much resentment and hatred. I didn't even know him but I have never hated anyone more in my life. 

When I saw her across the room, staring in awe at the unfolding event, her tiny body shaking in fear, her eyes wide in shock, I got even more aggravated. I might have been crying or perhaps too much anger left my eyes watery, but when I saw Johanna standing there, her mouth covered by her soft hands, my brain couldn't make sense of the emotions that rambled in me.

She started walking towards me as the guards dragged me away from the room. Jim was being attended by some serious looking professionals and my prayer at the last sight of him was that he would die.

**Moments before the attack**

"Tell me what happened. I need to know." I urged Johanna on as we sat laying next each other on her hospital bed. I held her tight in my arms, her head resting on my chest and her one hand wrapped around my torso, the other intertwined with mine. She had really small soft hands, small tiny frame and a very big heart. There was something about her... all her tininess and smiles and laughs and alluring eyes, they just stirred something inside of me. God, she was so beautiful.