Chapter 14: Plane

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~Ben~ ~August~

Turns out Eleanor didn't store the things I left in Windsor like I had thought. She kept them in boxes in her apartment. They were all lined up in a spare room she was going to use to write before deciding to write in the kitchen instead. She told me it was because she found it easier with Ophelia, but I doubt it. The storage room is big enough to install both a desk and a space for Ophelia to play in.

"When did you move here?" I asked the day after we arrived back in New York. She was giving me a tour of the apartment and had just shown me the space where she stored my things.

"A few weeks after Christmas, when we got the first check for the book," she answered, looking away from me. It was the first time one of mentioned Christmas since we made contact again. It put us in an awkward mood for the rest of the day.

Every day has been pretty much the same since I moved in. I work out in the morning, bringing Ophelia if she's awake. Then it's breakfast and playtime while Eleanor tries to write. She hasn't told me what it's about, but she seems very focused on it, so it feels good to be able to give her time. I often have meetings with the team's staff in the afternoon, so it's Eleanor's turn to take care of Ophelia. I signed my contract the day I came back to New York like I said I would. Connor said that waiting before signing was good. Apparently, the General Manager saw the attention the book and me per association were getting, so he raised his offer by a few hundred thousand dollars. Connor has kept surprising me during the negotiations. He was confident and well-informed throughout the process which, for him, was a first.

When I first started dreaming about the NHL, I had imagined that signing my contract would change my life. I thought something in me would switch because, in my young mind, going pro meant becoming an adult. I had seen stars and fireworks blowing up around me as my pen touched the paper, but there was none of that. There was nothing actually. The only people present were Connor, the coach, Mr. Harrison Bailey, the General Manager, and me. Coach Bailey is the oldest coach I ever had in all my years playing hockey. He looks about fifty or sixty with his white hair and small glasses. He seemed nice though. Severe and demanding but nice. He asked how old Ophelia was and even wanted to see a picture. Since then, I go to the arena almost every day to either work out or become familiar with the environment. It may seem weird but knowing the place will help me be more concentrated and less stressed once the training camp begins in a few weeks. And I'm not the only one. I waited until I saw him a few times before saying hello. His name is Bogdan Vetrov. He is from Russia and was drafted in the NHL at the same time as me. His English is not great, but he's working on it, and most people would find his accent weird, but I find the way he moves his hands when looking for a word endearing. We worked out together a few times, and we both have taught the other many interesting things.

It's been like that almost every day for the past month and a half. I avoid being in the apartment when Matthew or Hannah come to visit and lock myself in my storage room that his slowly becoming my bedroom after eight pm. It's been working out very well most of the time. Eleanor and I managed to not get in a fight or in any serious argument. We only speak about the necessary stuff, avoiding any personal subject. It's been good, but it's like living with a perfect stranger. We don't sit on the couch to watch pointless TV shows, Eleanor doesn't talk to me about the book she's reading, and I keep my hockey anecdotes to a minimum. It's Eleanor and me, but it doesn't feel that way. I feel like an imposter who doesn't belong in this place. Maybe it's why I try to go out so much. No matter how hard I try, I don't feel at home anywhere in New York City.

My hope is that, the two weeks we are about to spend in Victoria will lighten up my mood. Being surrounded in things I know should help. We are leaving New York in only a few hours even if Will and Jo's wedding is next Saturday, meaning that we'll have almost a full week in BC before the main event. Sure, there's the rehearsal dinner and the many appointments and parties before the wedding, but it's still two full weeks back home. I hope it'll allow Eleanor and I to reconnect because, even if I love that she has let me back in her life, I feel like I don't belong in it and I hate it.

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