I Can't Fly

Chapter 18

"Remember, you cannot discuss any of the testing material. Your results will be posted online in a month. At this moment, you are dismissed." A cacophony of chair scrapping erupted as our group of SAT test takers left the classroom. From the tip of my head to my toes, I felt drained. When I turned on my phone, it binged a hundred times a minute as it loaded Saturn's encouraging messages. Good thing my phone wasn't on. I shook myself at the idea of taking the SAT again.

Upon arriving home, my Mom overwhelmed me with a hug and a small feast of Chinese takeout, my favorite. My calculator and pencils clattered onto the table as I dropped into a chair. My frustrations and confusion from test questions danced on my tongue. My Mom and I both knew that SAT secrecy didn't mean much in the grand scale of things. Seconds passed before I unleashed my emotions like an avalanche of snow.

Between ranting to my Mom in person, I complained to Saturn over text. My mind thought too quickly to form coherent sentences most of the time. Even with messages riddled with grammatical mistakes and random letters, Saturn understood my thoughts and replied. I flexed my fingers every now and then to relieve the cramp forming. My hand still needed to recover from its stress-induced iron grip on my pencil. Then, it was back to texting like a bat out of hell. 

My Mom began to clean up our leftovers when my phone rang. I scrambled over the opportunity to hear Saturn's voice. My face fell as I stared at Ben's number. I blinked my eyes hard. However, my phone continued to insist that I answer. I hovered my finger over the ignore button.

On the last ring, I told my Mom, "I will be right back." She waved me off, assuring that she could clean up by herself.

I answered his call as I raced to my bedroom. My heart hammered in my chest a hundred beats per minute.

"Hi, Ben. This is kind of weird. You have never called me before. What's up with that? Wait, I mean why are you calling me, not why haven't you called me." I facepalmed myself as I heard his laughter through the phone.

"I was calling to see how your SAT went." His voice rumbled through the phone as if he just woke up. I might have smiled at the thought, but instead, my eyes went wide.

"How did you know?" I let out a quiet "ooff" through the receiver after tossing myself on my mattress. I adjusted my pillow and listened for Ben's response.

"You talk about it a lot and so does Saturn." He interrupted me before I could apologize. "But I like that. I like listening to you talk about it. It's kind of cute."

Either my phone glitched or my ears unconsciously had selective hearing because Ben's ending comment bounced off my thoughts. Oh yeah, right. Who would want to listen to me obsess about a test? I bit my lip as I pondered how far I would dive into the SAT topic. I haven't known Ben for that long. 

I pictured him lounging in bed like me. Although it was Saturday and might not be going anywhere, I knew he would always jell up the front part of his hair. He didn't seem like the kind of person to get out of his nightwear. So he'd be in pajamas or a pair of boxers. I blushed as I admitted that the second option was more likely. My cheeks bled fire truck red when I thought of a third option if he preferred much less clothing. What am I thinking? Good thing this isn't FaceTime. I would die if he saw me. My ears listened to his breath as it whispered through the connection.

I soon remembered that he was still at the other end of the line.

I scrambled to come up with a plan to dismiss the topic. So recent after the test, I had little time to think of a pushover explanation for him or my other friends. If I had blabbed a lot as Ben said, tons of people will be asking. I knew it would be easier to deal if I had a script memorized. The finality of it is that I don't have one yet.