Loving A God Named Thor

day 1, he left

It seems it was just yesterday i felt him hug me then leave for Asgard. The pain has been burning inside my body ever since. I haven't eaten, I haven't slept, nothing but pain. At first when they leave its like a dull throb in your heart that slowly increases. Then it turns till you are insane twisted and wanting nothing more then to scream in pure horror and agony. What most don't know that its not MENTAL pain but it is PHYSICAL and its not just in the stone clump of a heart but it spreads from the top of your head to the ends of your toe nails. Most don't know this feeling, And i pray to god it will stay that way.  The pain was horrible and i had another year to go until i saw my Thor.

- FLASH BACK -

" Thor you can't go! " i whisper clutching his hand desperation clawing deep in my voice

" I must im king of Asgaurd... " he said refusing to make eye contact

" Then Take me! take me with you! " it was more like a choked sob really but the pain was already starting in my heart the thought of loosing the man i love.

" I cant it is against the rules..." he was whispering " I'll Visit you in a year time, By then i will find someone to take my place that i can trust, Loki will be in the dungeon and everything will be settled." as he spoke i knew his words where spoken of truth i couldn't let his people be left to rot. People. Fae. I need to take care of them as well. But a year, It seems wrong, a lie. I'm missing a crucial element that my brain cant muster. What am i missing? What will i be missing? will my heart be taken along with the man i so foolishly love? 

- end of flash back -

How could i be so Naive? To believe that i would remain whole as he left? That this pain wouldn't exist? That there was a possibility, a shred of hope that i wouldn't be put threw this pain? It was horrible back wrenching pain that screamed through out my body. as if someone had shut off the light and the people in my head left me empty and cold.

" Alone " i whisper to myself curling into a tight ball my head wedged in between my knees

" STOP!!! MAKE IT STOP!! PLEASE GOD PLEASE!!!! " i screamed in agony to god tears streaming down my face

" God please! i know i deserve this! I killed people...well things... But please take my home, take my money, give away the throne i so rightly have, but PLEASE bring back Thor! please? Please? PLEASE?!" I'm whimpering repeating over and over my last word, please? MY thoughts slowly are turning into pure haze finding a way to think about this is hard enough.

* knock knock *

" Star? " a feminine voice called

" NO! " i screeched and threw my shoe weakly at the door making a soft thud instead of the loud bang i wished for. I don't know why i wish for anything it all just goes away! NOTHING IS TO LIVE FOR! i want to die. But i cant! I tried a bullet to the freaking head but i healed to fast. GOD!

" Star im, Im comming in... " pepper came in looking at the torn walls the tear stained couch i was lumped on 

" What is wrong? " Pepper asked

" I-i-if y-y-ou kn-knew ha-alf the p-p-p-pain im in y-o-u w-ou-l-ld und-er-er-s-stan-d." i stutter then scream in agony.  She rushed to my side and started whispering to me softly and i felt my body loosen a bit before it collapsed back into the twisted knot.

" Is this all from Thor leaving?" she asked in a whisper

" yes  " i say then i sit up the pain goes to a dull throb now that i don't focus on it.

" You should get some rest then. " she smiled. I shook my head. But in retrospect i guess that was a bad idea. I just sat there, i felt miserable and useless. I felt like Bella without Edward, that idea scared the crap out of me.

" Then ill go..." she said hurt.

i wanted to say stay tell her not to leave, not to let out the door. But it was no use. The blackness overwhelmed me and i passed out.

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sorry itis late. and short.im a bit o.O overwhelmed right now... -_-

im riting another story.... too cause i have writers block for this one.

check it out: Once upon a time 

thnx - monkey