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April 13th, 1994

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April 13th, 1994. 1:34 A.M.

The roads of hell could've exclusively linked to this very highway that we travelled on for the past couple of hours. As the car lights hit the barrier edges, I would be lying to myself if I didn't have the urge to abruptly swerve over to the side of the road and drive directly off the upcoming cliff on the left. I could've down it too, if it wasn't for the faint snores escaping from the mouth besides me. His lips parted, allowing the sweet sound to swivel through my ears. There was always someone to keep me going, whether it be Paul back home or Dallas sleeping against the passenger seat.

 I sure hoped he'd wake up soon enough, I hadn't a clue where I was expected to be driving too, and I honestly worried about the next exit leading to a bunch of police cars. I lean over and changed to the radio station between the fizzy sounds, to a decent tune. I turned down the next exit, disregarding my earlier worries, towards a town. I thought we could stay at a motel for a couple of nights. It's bleeding dark all around, with only a few stores opened and barely lit streets that made it nearly impossible to see a thing. I crane over the steering wheel and turn down a road.

 An immediate loud heckling sound starts coming from the engine, it only gets louder and louder the more I drive. By this point, Dallas had woken up in a grumpy tone, "Bloody hell." he groans, scratching his sleepy head of hair and sitting up straight. I pull over again, this night was so long, I just wanted it to end. Dally and I move to the front of the car. He lifts the hood high above his head, letting the hot steam hitting against his face, he fans it away. He shoves his head into the car engine and begins to play around. 

I get impatient and tap him on the shoulder. It only frightened his already skittish nature tonight, and his head slammed back up in the roof, "God damn it, Bianca." He snapped. I sink deeper into myself, he used to call me Bee, now he only calls me by my real name. This murder, this affair has wedged us apart... If only I could fine a way to bring us back together. After a while more of dealing with the engine, he decided the car was completely stuffed. He looks up and down the street, it's empty and dimly lit for once. 

I follow him down the road, but he doesn't stop. I had to jog up to him, "Dally, wait!" I called out; he only kept the fast speed out of frustration. I finally catch up to him, he stops abruptly, running his fingers roughly through his coarse hair, cursing under his breath... that's all he can do lately. In an instant, he grabs a hold of my face and pressures his lips against mine own. A sort of kiss that tells me that he's angry but not at me, but he can't tell me that through his words, so he must kiss me. I was also in the same mood, this all was wild, and out of control. 

I need to balance, to get centred. We eventually find somewhere to rest; it was a simple bathroom block in the middle of park. Although both doors were locked, so we huddle together for warmth against the outside wall. I rest my head against his shoulder, surprisingly he was already fast asleep. I was terrified of being awake all alone, in the middle of nowhere. The air was still, and everything was silent. I could hear my heart beating fast. I gulp down the sickness in my throat, and attempt to close my eyes, but I was beginning to shake. Not from the coldness of the night's weather, from the fear and anguish of my new life. All my dreams fell out the window, and it was all my fault. 



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