Since Augustus

Abortion.

Its been 2 weeks since I told my parents, they have treated me like I will drop dead at any secound. Which, with Cancer and Pregnancy as a combo, could possibly happen. I'm about 2 months Pregnant, and today is my last day being Pregnant. Today is my last day with my little Sea Monkey. I look like a 40 year old man with a huge gut. We drive to the abortion/ OBGYN clinic. With my small bump  and the tubes in my nose with an air tank trailing behind me, I give you permission to stare. Issac is behind me, not happy with the sublect that I'm aborting his dead best friend's baby. I wait in the waiting room, I see 4 other pregnant mothers, 1 of them is my age, the other 3 are middle aged women sitting with their other children, looking tired, thank god that will never happen to me.

A part of me screams, "Dont kill the child!"

Another part yells "Youre going to risk your life on a CHILD???"  I dont know which part grabs me more.

"Hazel Lancaster," A tall nurse comes in and says. I walk into the room she leads me into, there is a giant sonogram machine by her side.

"This is an abortion yes?" She says, I notice she has a thick accent.

" Valter! Git Me ze gel! You vant doctor to show you your baby first before abortion?" She says. My mom looks over at me and gives me the look. There isn't a way OUT of NOT seeing the baby.

" Sure..." I mutter. The lady tells me to lay on the table, I law down on the table and get comfortable.

" Docotor Valters vill be in soon. " She says, as soon as she leaves, Issac comes in.

" I lost you!" He says.

" Well SORRRY! I laugh.

" Is doctor Walters coming in soon? I either want to see the kid, or get this freaking thing over with." He says impaitentely. Like Gus himself granted Issac's wish,  a woman with a long white coat a head of firey red hair walks in.

" Hello Hazel!" She says happily.  Very optimistic for an abortion doctor.

"Now Nurse Lidweigi came in, right??" She asks.

" Yeah, Can you show me the baby before you get it over with?" I ask in reply.

" Of course," Doctor Walters says. She pulls up my shirt, reavealing a slightly swollen stomach, she squirts some clearish blue gel onto my stomach and take a thing that looks like it should be a controller to a Wii or some other kind of video game station. She rubs it around my belly, smoothing out the gel, until something miraculous happens.......

*THUMP THUMP* *THUMP THUMP* *THUMP THUMP*

Tears fill my eyes and I smile. I haven't felt like this, since, since augustus.

" Now lets start the abortion." Doctor Walters says.

"okay" I faintly say. But as she goes to get pills, I look up at the sonogram machine. A small figure is on the machine, faintly see its head, and at the end a pair of two little legs. Legs. Legs were something that Gus always wanted. Well the one. I see my child. His Child. Our child. This baby is a part of me and I know that now. Doctor Walters comes in and gives me a cup of water.

" No doc. I can't. I, I I wont. I know I cant do it now. It's too hard and I'm not cruel enough to kill off the last piece of Augustus Waters. Gus would want me to keep the kid. Even though I think I need to abort it, Agustus would be bgging me to keep it. So, just give me a regular doctors appointment."I say strongly.

"YES!!!!" Issac cheers.

" I'm going to be a grandma!!!" Mom says cheerfully.

'Would you like to know the sex of the baby?" Doctor Walters says.

"Yes please," I say.

"Well it looks like a boy." She says. A boy. A mini Augustus Waters. I'm gong to have my own little Gus.

"Awww!" My mom cries.

The doctor opens her mouth again." And a girl. She says happily.

'TWINS???" I scream.  What? Double trouble? The Terrible two? Oh NO! Not two! Not even MORE huger! Issac's mouth drops to the floor.     My mom's AS-IS scray smile turns to a horrifing photoshop smile. 

"Its two for sure. Your'e due on about, Valentines day next year. That will end our monthly checkup, I will see you next month Hazel. Have fun!" The doctor says.

" Two little Waters!!! " My mom says.

" Umm, Mom, Can you, umm leave me and Issac alone for a sec?"I mutter.

" Sure honey-bunches I'M GOING TO BE A GRANDMA!" She cheers again. She leaves after her mini happy fest, leaving me laying on the table.

"Double Trouble, nice job Lancaster." He says. He has the corniest smile on his face. I smack his face, not too hard, but enough to give him the idea.

" I'm going to FAT! And i'm going to have to take care for TWO kids! And the freaking FATHER IS DEAD!" I say extrememley hormoney.

" Its okay, Lancaster. You can take care of kids." Issac says. He's not calling me by my first name. H's calling me "Lancaster. He's not calling me my my name. He's pulling an Augustus.    The pregnancy hormones must be really wierd. Because when his face gets close to me, I kiss him. He seems to get the memo and Kisses back.

" You are SUCH a sloppy kisser." I laugh.

" Blame Monica the sea-devil." He laughs back. My mom walks in and tells us we need to go. The caride home is filled with Joyus converstaion. It hasnt been like this since Augustus. Twins, the word rings in my ears. But I know I can handle it. Augustus will help me. I know it.