They Call Her Love | ✔️

22: They Call Her Confused

"The lacrosse game completely slipped my mind Friday night," I say to the camera. "Before any of you accuse me of being a bad person, I'll save you the trouble and admit that it was a mistake on my part. I obviously need to set my priorities straight and organize my thoughts a little better, but my life has been on a constant roller-coaster ride and it's hard for me to get a grip on reality."

"What are you planning to do about it?" Sebastian's asks from behind the darkness.

"I am going to try to make it up to my friends and ThompsonCares as much as I can. But first, we'll see if they forgive me," I chuckle at myself. This was by far the most uncomfortable confessional to tape.

"What if they don't?"

I open my mouth but nothing comes out for a few seconds because I don't have an answer to this. "Well...let's hope they can find it in their hearts to forgive me."

"Did you have fun at the bonfire and the football game at least?" Clarkson's voice is unmistakably giddy with happiness.

I smile, mainly at his reaction. "Yes, I surprisingly did. I was never friends with any of the football players or cheerleaders before and had preconceived notions about how they were. But, after the bonfire and the football game, I realized they're really great and fun people – I think the rest of the school population stereotype them too much."

"How do you feel about being Chris' girlfriend now?"

"I still can't believe it – I'm Chris Logan's girlfriend. And it blows my mind."

The confessional goes on for a few more minutes until the movers are done taking the last of what was left from my old room and into a U-Haul truck. Without saying a word to anyone, I quickly grab my backpack off the floor and rush to my car that's parked outside since I have about twenty minutes to get to class. We had to film this confessional quickly because it was the last time I'd be in my old room. By tonight, I'd be sleeping in a completely new home.

So, let's take a few steps back and really address what's happened.

Okay.

I messed up.

I know, I know, I know.

I completely forgot about the lacrosse game after getting wrapped up with Chris and the football game. I didn't really have an excuse for my behavior. It was also understandable that every single one of my friends practically ignored me the entire weekend because of it. I had texted them each a long apology, yet no one responded. It seemed as if they all had taken an oath to avoid me at all costs and it worked.

Even on social media, people were complaining about what a bad friend I had become. There were a few groups that had come to a conclusion that I had in fact, ditched my old friends to be a part of the popular crowd given my new circumstances. I was brought to tears at some of the hurtful, and very hateful, comments and responses a people had. This was the exact reason why I had chosen to stay away from social media in the first place – I didn't want to know any of the shit-talking going on about me. To say this weekend was torture would be an understatement. On top of being shunned in my own home by my family, I was also done so by my friends and hated on by the rest of the world. I tried to put on a brave face, but despite that, I was slowly falling apart inside.

The only thing that got me through this weekend without having a full blown emotional breakdown was the fact that Clarkson and Penelope had sent a team to help move a few of my things into my new house. This added tremendously in aiding to keep my mind off of things. Also, luckily, my parents were out at their offices for most of the weekend because they needed to prepare for a fitness convention taking place next weekend. They weren't there to witness their firstborn moving out of the house.