Avengers Imagines

Forever Steve Rogers X Reader

Requested by Lunagamergirl Thank you!

TRIGGER WARNING! IF YOU ARNT COMFORTABLE WITH THESE THINGS PLEASE DO-NT READ THIS!

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 You pulled down the sweatshirt sleeves over your freshly cut wrists. You sat at your kitchen counter, waiting for Steve to finish making your lunch. Steve, who was your best friend since you joined S.H.I.E.L.D, insisted on making you lunch as pay back for when you made him breakfast when he was sick.

"Here you go, (Y/N)." He placed the plate of grilled cheese and slid a bowl of tomato soup towards you.

You smiled weakly and picked your spoon. "Thanks Steve." Dipping the spoon into the soup, you just stared at the red liquid.

You couldn't remember why you cut, or why you were depressed. You just hurt, every where. The darkness was slowing closing in on you, but Steve was your little light. You saw him and your mind was instantly better. You wished you could be a better friend towards him, but sometimes life had you by your hair. It tugged and pulled, twisted and tore until nothing was left. Your cutting was getting worse an worse as the days flew by, as well as your depression. Maybe nothing could stop you from kicking the bucket now.

"(Y/N)? (Y/N)? Hello?" Steve waved his hand in front of your face. You blinked a few times at looked at the super solder.

"Sorry, just spacing out, don't worry." You brought the spoon to your lip and slurped. Steve just shrugged and continued to eat his own food.

You two continued to eat quietly as the minutes ticked by, Steve wondered what was going inside of that mind of yours. He was worried, having found those, thankfully, clean blades in your bathroom drawer. He noticed how you continuously puled down your sweatshirt sleeves, or the way you would stay in your bathroom for hours at a time. Steve tried anything to make you you better, but you hardly showed any improvement.

"Hey, (Y/N), I'm gonna head out. Missions and stuff I have to do." Steve washed out his dishes and placed them in the dishwasher. He waved goodbye and left your small apartment.

"Bye Steve." You mumbled after he left, your little light now extinguished. The darkness flooded your mind as you stumbled to the bathroom, your mind focused on thing.

You didn't notice that Steve had climbed the fire escape that was right in front of your room. You had to go through your room to the bathroom, so Steve could spy on you from here. You were his best friend, no, he pretty much loved you. But he never could admit it to you, thinking that you would push him away and lose your path that he tried to make for you.

"Please tell me (Y/N), that you aren't doing what I think you might be doing." He mumbled at peered through your window and into your bathroom.

You left the bathroom door open and slammed open the drawer your the blades you used. Not even attempting to keep the cuts a straight line on your wrist, you slashed at the delicate skin, the blood flowing into the sink. You never showed any emotion, just blood and tears mixing in the sink. You moved farther up your arm, almost to your elbow was stained in a bright crimson. Both arms equally cut, you pulled down your shorts and sliced at your thighs.

Steve was in shock at how much pain and suffering you kept bottled up, over all these years. He couldn't move his mind was spinning with the terrible thoughts about you and those hated blades. He watched you hurt your beautiful skin over and over. Screaming horrible words about yourself, the hot tears that flooded down your face.

You threw the blade on the floor and dropped down on the cold floor tiles. Raking your sweaty and bloody hands through your hair, your body wouldn't quit shaking. Your toes scrunched up at the stinging misery that flowed through you like water. It wouldn't go away, the darkness, the blood, the hurt. None of it. You needed your light, you needed Steve. You felt very weak, your eyes slowly closing, the dizziness numbed your mind. You lifted your eyelids one last time to see a man break through your window, running into the bathroom. The blonde hair, the blue eyes. Steve.

"Steve, help me please." You sobbed as you felt you frail body being picked up. You forced away the fuzziness and darkness in your mind. You stayed awake for him.

"I'm right here (Y/N), I'm never leaving. No, never." He hugged you, his grip firm yet soft around your bloody and bruised body. You  cried into his neck, your weak arms wrapping around his strong torso.

"I-I can't d-do it anymore S-Steve. I-I'm done, s-so done w-with everything. I w-want to leave." You cried, the tears and blood soaking into his white shirt. But he dint care, his mind was focused one thing. You. And only you. Protecting you, loving you, caring for you. His one track mind wouldn't change until you were safe.

"Hang in there (Y/N). I will help you fight these battles, win this war. I will.." Steve took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He smiled lightly and continued to hug you. "I will love you until the end of my days."

You gasped, your eyes flew open. More tears streamed down your rosy cheeks. Your little light shined brighter and brighter, fighting the darkness, warding off the evil in your mind. You drew back from him, your hands still wrapped around him as your gazed into his blue eyes.

"Steve, I-I.. thank you. For everything." You smiled as the last of your painful tears trickled down your face. He wiped them away, his hand lingering for a few seconds.

"Don't thank me, this is your doing. To chose me, over that. No, (Y/N), I thank you. For choosing me."Steve picked you up ad placed you on the sink counter. He grabbed a towel from the closet and soaked it. Placing it on o=your cu up arm, he gently washed away all the blood.

"I don't know if you want me to wash your thighs, (Y/N). You can do it if you are not comfortable." Steve said innocently, that little angel of pure innocence was going to be the death of you one day.

You giggled quietly and nodded your head, giving him the good to go. Steve washed out the rag again and placed it on your thighs, cleaning tenderly.

"I want to ask you Steve.. about what you said earlier. That you would love me until the day you died. I-Is that true?' You asked, looking down at him.

Without hesitation, Steve looked up at you and smiled warmly. "Of course (Y/N). I was a bit scared to tell you with your.. uhh..." He mumbled, not wanting to hurt you again.

"No, no, Its fine. You know, I guess my best friend also turned out to be the one I love." You admitted. Steve eyes brightened as he stood up and pulled yo in for another hug.

"Thank you (Y/N). I promise to protect you, to care for you, to love you with every second of my life. I love you (Y/N) (Y/L)." He told you whole heartily.

You hugged him back, leaning your head against his strong chest. "I love you too Steve."