"I wish you hadn't told me this," Rick said. "I should arrest you for murder, but half of them were white supremacists and one of them was Dan."
"Then don't!" Joel suggested. "Anne didn't. She used Sheila for good."
"But you're going to run out of bad people eventually. This may have been fun for a month, but it's not sustainable."
"I hadn't thought of that," Joel admitted. He picked up a used joint, sniffed it, and put it down. "And I'm still not high. This zombie thing is bullshit."
"You know, I'm allergic to red meat," Rick said.
"But I've seen you eat steak."
"That was before I was bitten by a tick while visiting family in Tennessee."
"Ticks can do that?"
"Lone Star ticks can," Rick said. "Anyway, has it occurred to you that maybe you just have a food allergy and a protein deficiency?"
"Do you really think we didn't explore every option before resorting to murder?"
"Yes."
"So what did I miss?"
"Humor me," Rick said. He found a BlenderBottle, put in a scoop of soy protein, poured in some water, and shook it until the consistency was smooth. "Try this."
Joel sniffed it. It wasn't offensive. He sipped it. Still not offensive. So he took a gulp. The flavor wasn't much, but the texture was okay. And it filled his stomach.
Joel guzzled the whole bottle. He waited for nausea but it didn't happen. He just felt...full.
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Santa Clarita Diet Season 4
Fanfiction[CW: Spoilers] If Netflix won't give us a fourth season, I will. Picking up where the show left off, we'll explore Joel Hammond's unlife and how it affects his relationships with Sheila, Abby, Eric, Lisa and Rick. Joel/Sheila, Joel/Lisa because he...
