Santa Clarita Diet Season 4

Insufferable

Meanwhile, Eric and Abby drove to school.

Still gazing out the passenger window, Abby repeated her question from yesterday morning. "You think my dad is acting weird lately?"

Eric froze.

"Hey, red light!" Abby exclaimed.

Eric slammed the brakes in the middle of the crosswalk. Fortunately, no one was on it. But there was a car behind him. Unable to back up, his car sat in embarrassment until the light turned. Eric positioned his hands at ten and two, eyes on the road like during his driver's test.

"What the hell is going on with everyone around me?" Abby muttered. "First he's nervous, now you."

Eric took the first parking space he saw near the high school, despite its distance from the building. He couldn't focus on driving a moment longer than necessary. Abby had rattled him. He waited for her to unbuckle her seat belt. Instead, she turned to him.

"Are you okay?" Abby asked.

"I'm as good as ever," Eric responded, an octave or two higher than usual.

"You're an awful liar."

Eric undid his seat belt so he could breathe. Joel's secret burst at his seams. He'd made a promise but knew he couldn't keep it.

"Out with it," Abby prodded.

"Your dad fucked my mom last night."

"Holy shit!" Abby exclaimed. "How could he do that? Wait until Mom finds out."

"It was your mom's idea!"

Abby paused. Then she smirked. "You know, the last time I borrowed my mom's laptop, it accidentally restored a tab to Tinder. My parents joined it as a couple and looked for a unicorn."

"A unicorn?"

"A bisexual woman to join them in a threesome. Which is my mom's idea of an anniversary gift."

"Was this before or after she after became a zombie?" Eric asked.

"Before," Abby said. "It's always the shy ones. And now my parents are swinging..." She let out a long sigh. "Fuck my life, they're going to be insufferable about this. They'll talk everyone's ear off about it. It'll be worse than when Mom discovered Tantric sex."