After the Storm

Chapter 25 - Rusty

It was already Monday and I was so nervous for my doctor's appointment later. I didn't know what to expect, what test would be conducted and how long it would take to receive the results. The question of whether I would be diagnosed with having MS was plaguing my every thought. I could hardly focus on work or anything for that matter. I was even intentionally avoiding Wyatt and Grace. I got a text from Wyatt this morning about carpooling into work and I simply told him I wasn't feeling my best and would work from home. In all honesty I was worrying myself more by looking up symptoms of MS, what doctors will test for, what to expect if the results come back positive.

My eyes began to blur as I read the screen on my laptop. I closed them tightly trying to slow my thoughts. When I opened them I saw Wyatt standing in the kitchen entryway holding a bouquet of roses. Seeing him put everything in perspective and I started to cry, holding my head in my hands as tears seeped through my fingers on to my keyboard. I tend to be a very optimistic person, but right now I was far from feeling any hope. I met this beautiful man who loves me back and all I can think about is not letting him go through this with me.

Death is never easy, even when it's expected. To have more control of his emotions, Wyatt shut people out and made it a mission to never get attached. He let his guard down knowing each day was never a guarantee. I watched my mom die from this disease and I don't wish that on anyone, especially Wyatt. I want him to thrive in love and life, but he can't do that taking care of me. My mom always said she wished more for me. She expressed to me every day how sorry she was and how I should be off living my life. I never regretted one minute.

Wyatt placed the roses on the countertop and pulls me off the stool into his arms.

"If you're going to cry, cry while I hold you."

And so I did, for what felt like hours.

I pulled back and looked up at Wyatt. His face showed concern and fear. I hate I have made him feel like this.

"I'll never beg for you to tell me what's wrong, but what you need to know is I love you and whatever you are going through we can go through together. You can talk to me."

"I've just been sick and feeling out of it. I have a doctor's appointment today," I lied and the look on Wyatt's face tell me he knows I did.

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, I'll be alright, plus you have work today," I quickly changed the subject hoping it would keep him from asking more questions.

"Not today. I took it off. I was worried about you and I'd like to spend the day with you. Even if that means you being sick on the couch."

I smiled at the thought of us just being us. Relaxing on the couch, watching movies, and not thinking about what the future holds or doesn't. And we do just that.

Hours passed and Wyatt and I watched three movies, went through two bags of popcorn and three packages of licorice. Spending time with him took my mind off things temporarily, but now all I could focus on was the clock. My appointment was in an hour and I needed to change and leave.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you," he asked again his eyes begging me to say yes.

"I'm sure. I bet they'll just do a check and see if it's the common cold or maybe sinus infection," I lied again but more to myself than to him.

"Please call me after. How about pizza tonight," he smiled and kissed me on the forehead.

"Pizza sounds great."

We both rose from the couch and walked towards the front door. We said our goodbyes and I head upstairs to get ready. I am out the door and driving to the doctor's office within fifteen minutes. Checking in with the front office nurse was simple, but sitting in the cold waiting room made me second guess my decision not to bring Wyatt.

I considered the situation differently. I thought if this were Wyatt I would want to be here with him. I would force the information out of him even if it meant holding him hostage. I would definitely not be as patient as he has been. Right then I decided, based on results, I would tell him and let him decide whether he wants to be involved.

The nurse called my name and snaps me out of my daze. I followed her to the patient room and she does her usual checks. Within ten minutes, Dr. Yang comes and introduces himself.

"How are you today, Ms. Reid?" he greeted me as he pulls out a small roller stool and sits down.

"I'm alright," I gave a half-smile.

"Tell me why you're here and how I can help."

I run the doctor through my family history, the symptoms I have been experiencing and my overall fears. He took notes, asked questions and showed he was invested in my health. He explained to me that MS is not an inherited disease, however the risk of developing it increases when a relative had it. He also expressed that although my symptoms somewhat indicated a possible MS diagnosis, they also indicate dozens of other things. In the end he recommended staying off WebMD. We both laughed.

The plan was to get my blood drawn and measured against several tests. Next included having an MRI scan done. Dr. Yang said he was optimistic the blood results would reveal more information.

After meeting with Dr. Yang I was able to have my blood drawn and scans completed at the medical center. He said results would be within the next twenty-four hours and to try and not dwell on it. He advised me to have a good night and I planned on it. I left the doctor's office feeling more upbeat than I had in the last week and was looking forward to pizza night with Wyatt. In twenty-four hours a lot could change.