I thought this for a while, but I think I got what it takes to talk about this.(deep inhale)
Let's talk about all the kissing and everything.
You all know what I mean, right? About the physical contacts, you get with your b-friend. Here's the funny thing (which I found as I looked over all of my other couple friends), if your contacts get much frequent and you do things you haven't before, you start to get scared. And if it's not going at all, you feel like this isn't a relationship at all.
My friends always tell me,
"I think we're going to fast on this lane- you know? I don't want to do anything wrong!"
or "I don't think he loves me at all. He doesn't even kiss me."
To be honest, I can't say that I know how to get the right amount of touch and to control things right, those kinds of sh*t. But I do have things to tell you, girls, before something off- goes on with your relationship. Here are tips on being 'right' about physical contact. I know this might sound very old and mother-like, but I want to tell this before the next part of this chapter.
1. Don't let him go over you.
Now I'm not going to be all grandma-like saying- "Boys are wolves, they don't know how to control themselves," nope. I think boys are very rational and know their limits. However, I want you to know they don't know about girls that much. Even a boy who met thousands of girls can't know everything. Because everybody is different, some girls like kissing, others don't. Rather, I believe a boy who has never met anybody before would try better to make his limits. (Yes, that's from my own experience) Anyways, here's my point. Make sure he knows he doesn't own you, and you are only allowing him to do anything because you love him. Don't let him toss you around his way. Girls are not toys, right? And if he does think like that and you feel uncomfortable, have the courage and freedom to say no.
2. Loving doesn't require touching. (SET YOUR LIMITS CLEARLY)
Here's a paradox that goes over almost every couple's mind and I'm sure some people get uncomfortable over it. Since loving couples always do some physical contact, (ex: kissing, hugging, sometimes even sex) people get to think it is necessary. Here's a reminder for all of you. "If you love someone, you love someone." PERIOD. It doesn't need to flow away to some sh*t like "If you love someone, you hold their hands. If you hold their hands, you kiss their cheek. If you kiss their cheek, kiss their lips-" and all those things. But I'm telling you right here; it isn't right. If you or he feels uncomfortable with holding your hands, then you don't have to do it. If you feel okay about holding hands but feel awkward with kissing, then that's your line. Always make sure to be direct and clear about your limits, what you permit and do not.
3. Do it the right way.
Let's say you both are amateur couples. (cute, really) And you want to kiss. Here's the question that pops up anybody's head before a first kiss.
First question: Should I do it? What if he/she hates it? Did I brush my teeth?
Second: Do I do it in a French kiss? Hickey kiss? Eskimo kiss?
Third: Ooookay how do I do it, he/she's talking and- I don't know the timing!
-Did I read your mind? Yeah, I think I did. Here's why. Everybody goes through that. But guess what? None of that matters. Okay, your breath matters but don't worry about what kind of kiss it should be! Because kissing is just as simple as it is. You let your lips meet his. PERIOD. Don't worry about whatever's next. Just meet those lips and part. Then you'll decide what to do next. Here are some things you really should consider though.
