The sun rose against a slick ball on the bedroom floor, beige carpet left over from a client's remodel. Mr. Ball Legs had sat there for the past few hours. Was it watching them with its body covered with eyes? That used to creep out Joel, but now it didn't. It was cute. But not nearly as cute as the new ball next to it: Mrs. Ball Legs. Joel couldn't say what the attraction was. Objectively, it looked like an MS Paint rendering of a tarantula. Yet he wanted to watch it, protect it as if it were his own child. Having sex in the same room with it seemed slightly dirty. But only slightly.
"Joel, you ready for round two?" Sheila asked, pushing back part of a broken headboard. Her hair was so messy, some of the extensions had come out.
"It's more than round two," Joel responded.
The night hadn't been entirely that. Gallons of vomit were buried in the back yard while a trashcan soaked in bleach. One more syringe of serum had been used. But other than that, the night was mostly that.
The alarm clock rang.
"Shit, we forgot to sleep!" Sheila said, laughing.
"I thought you don't need sleep. I wake up and you've already been chasing coyotes for hours."
"Come on, I need at least a couple hours sleep." Sheila brushed his bare shoulder. "And so do you."
"Yeah..." Joel sighed. "It's not just you anymore. It's... it was always me. The moment I decided we fuck up shit together, it was me." He chuckled. "I thought I'd feel different."
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Santa Clarita Diet Season 4
Fanfiction[CW: Spoilers] If Netflix won't give us a fourth season, I will. Picking up where the show left off, we'll explore Joel Hammond's unlife and how it affects his relationships with Sheila, Abby, Eric, Lisa and Rick. Joel/Sheila, Joel/Lisa because he...
