Fighting to Live

Chapter Four

I don't know why I had him get in my car. I should have just made him walk to where ever he was going. But here I was, driving this stranger- I mean, here I was driving around Cade.

"Where do you live?" I ask with a sigh.

"Over by the college, on First Street." He mumbles out. Why can't he just speak like a normal person? Without meaning to, I sigh again.

First street is loaded with student apartments, which means that he must go to the University. A small part of me flared up with jealously. I missed out on my chance to have that experience. But, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Plus I love my job which isn't a job that you get with a college degree.

We sat in complete silence as I drove the short distance. At one point he looked like he was going to turn on the radio, but then he thought better of it and moved his hand to his lap.
Just as I turn onto first street he points to one of the many tall buildings, "That's the one." I was surprised by this building, but at the same time it explained his preppy look.

This was one of the nicest buildings in the city, never mind on this street. There was even a doorman standing outside. While my apartment was in a nice building, this building made it look like I lived in a card board box. It must be nice having parents who provide for you, I can't help but think.

I pull over and before he could get out, stare him down, "Now I also know where you live Cade McKinney. So you better keep your mouth shut." I smile on the inside, realizing that there was a plus side to my odd decision to drive him home.

"I promise." He responded. He even makes the motion for 'cross my heart and hope to die' and he looks immediately embarrassed by his action.

It takes a lot not to laugh at that, but I manage to keep my face serious, "Good, now get out of my car." Within milliseconds he is stumbling out and scurrying up to his building without a glance back.

I pinch the bridge of my nose with my fingers. How did I get here? No one was ever supposed to know this much about me other than Miles. Cade really better keep his mouth shut, but there's really no reason for him to. He doesn't know me, all he knows is that he has the next big piece of gossip.

My chest tightens, realizing it wouldn't be long until this city was buzzing with the news. I had to come up with a plan. It was the middle of the school year, it would be terrible to withdraw Miles now, especially after all the progress he has made. On the other hand, his safety was the most important thing.

I hadn't even realized I was driving again until I parked my car in front of a bar down the street from my apartment. It isn't a nice bar, I can practically feel how sticky each surface is from past drinks that had been spilled. I cringe, thinking about how easy it would be just to walk in and order a drink.

Miles is safe at Nicole's. I know for a fact that this bar doesn't check IDs, so even though I'm only twenty, I would be served. A drink would surely help with my nerves. When images try to resurface, reminding me why drinking is a bad idea, I sigh for the millionth time tonight and take the car out of park.

It's still early compared to when I normally get home when I make my way up the stairs to my apartment. I really don't want to be alone, Miles would keep me from thinking about what's to come.

On the other hand, I know how much he loves his sleep overs with Austin, so I walk right past Nicole's apartment and into mine. I don't even undress before crawling into bed, hoping sleep will claim me before the dark thoughts do.

Apparently luck is not on my side tonight though. After an hour and a half of tossing and turning, the thoughts start to seep in. I'm itching for a drink, but I keep trying to think about the consequences.
"Fuck." I say to myself before I crawl out of bed and head back to the bar down the street. Just a little is all I need to shut my brain up and get to sleep so deal with this mess tomorrow.

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I groan pulling the covers over my head. The sun is to damn bright for this early in the morning. Wait, what time is it? I roll over, trying to find my phone in the mess of blankets while trying to piece together the events that happened after I arrived at the bar.

I catch sight of it on my nightstand, charging, and next to my phone is a glass of water, a bottle of Advil, and a note. 'Feel better. Nicole is taking us to see a move. Love u' is scribbled in Miles hand writing.

I fall back into the bed, wincing from the movement. He wasn't supposed to see me like this, he isn't the one that's supposed to take care of me. I'm supposed to take care of him.

I'm full of shame and regret as I climb out of bed like the walking dead. After downing the Advil and glass of water, I make my way into my master bathroom and into the shower. With my forehead resting against the shower wall, and the warm water pulsing down my back helps, I can feel myself start to wake up.

Sooner than I'd like though, the water turns to ice. I quickly wash up, trying to get out before I turn into a human popsicle. Without caring what I look like, I pull on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. While the shower helped, I'm going to need something greasy and a cup of coffee in my stomach before I'm back to being a normal human being.

My headache starts to return when I remember that I need to go grocery shopping, we don't have anything for food in this apartment right now. I want to bash my head against the wall, I can't believe that I was so stupid last night.

The first thing I notice when I step into the kitchen, is the plate with pizza on it sitting on the kitchen island. Miles knows how to help hangovers way more than he should. And while the pizza is a welcome sight, it makes me feel even worse. A feeling that I didn't think was possible right now.

I try to block the feelings out for now, and inhale the pizza. Now I just need coffee. 'Are you guys still at the movies?' I send Nicole a text.

'Yeah, it's almost over. We're going to stop for lunch, and then we'll be back.' She responds a minute later.

'Thanks'

'No problem! I hope your stomach bug is going away' I should have known that Miles wasn't going to tell Nicole the truth. I'm thankful, I don't want her thinking poorly of me.

Well, on the slightly bright side, this means that I have time to walk around the block to my favorite coffee shop. I slip on my shoes and head down, hoping that the fresh air would also help my stomach that's still churning slightly.

It turns out that even after my streak of good luck this morning, the world is still against me. I can't help but want to kick down the door to my favorite coffee shop when I read the sign that says that they have gone out of business. It was the perfect small spot with amazing coffee. How could they have gone out of business?

I try to take deep, calming, breathes while I walk away looking for somewhere else to get coffee. It doesn't take me long before I find one, it's only a few buildings down. At least it looks like my luck isn't totally shit. I start to feel my anger dissipate as I pull open the door.

There isn't even a line! While this shop isn't as cozy as the other one, this one is pretty nice. I take a deep breath, trying to inhale as much of the delicious coffee sent as I can. I can almost feel my day improving with each breath. Last night was just a weird night, maybe everything will be fine.

"How may I take..." The barista trails off as we both realize at the same time what's happening. "What are you doing here? I haven't told anyone, I promise." Cade whispers, making sure none of his coworkers can hear us.

Great. Just great. I would walk into the one coffee shop he works at.

A/N: Hi! I hope you're enjoying the story so far! If you are don't forget to like and leave a comment telling me what you think is going on so far!