(A/N:) upcoming season three spoilers!
When emerald eyes meet ocean blue, Eren knows he wants to talk. There's a solemn, perhaps even stern, look on his face and he gulps nervously. So much has happened to them in the span of so little minutes that Eren is surprised at how much his stomach churns. He supposes it's the fact that he can sense Armin's anger, the spark of fire in his eyes that he's only seen on a few occasions. But he still doesn't think it's something to be as afraid of as he pathetically and selfishly is.
It's after Heichou's plan to make Historia the queen that they have a second to themselves. And almost as soon as the conversation is over, Armin's gripping him by the sleeve and pulling him around the corner and out of sight from the others. Once they're alone in the dark, secluded alleyway, he's being thrown forwards a bit more roughly than he'd like. Though given the fact that any form of malignancy from Armin is enough to make his heart ache, he supposes it doesn't really matter. He stumbles as he tries to catch himself and once he does, he turns to see his eyes downcast. "What the hell, Eren?" he says with a cool shakiness that makes him swallow despite himself. "Armin,"
He rushes forward, giving him a curt shove. "What the hell?!"
"Armin, I —" he tries, but soon his tongue is tripping over itself and no words are able to form on his lips. "What were you thinking?!" he yells, his fists taking half-hearted swings at Eren's shoulders. "What was that about sacrificing yourself?! That saving humanity shit?! I can't believe you!"
"Armin, calm down!" he says, trying to cease the attack on his chest. He manages to take hold of Armin's wrists and hold him steady despite his struggles against his grip. He eventually stops and catches his breath, his fists no longer trembling in resistance. "Why . . . ?" he mutters, and his voice sounds broken. "Why did you . . . ?"
"Armin . . . look at me . . ."
He raises his head, however hesitantly, and when emerald meet ocean, he feels his heart shatter. Tears flood from sapphire pools and roll hotly down his cheeks. The sheer agony in his eyes only adds to the exponential hatred he has for himself. Everything is his fault. It always was. "I'm not the hero everyone thinks I am. They think with my powers, I can save humanity, but they're wrong. If . . . if I let Rod Reiss eat me . . . if I restored the power to its rightful place, maybe humanity would actually stand a chance."
"Eren, those were just things Reiss said to get through to Historia. He needed her completely on his side and if she saw him as a victim in all this, she would be. You can still save humanity without their bloodline."
"How can you be so sure?!" he snaps without thinking. He sees him flinch, but only slightly. It still makes his stomach drop. "For all we know, he could've been right about all that! And even if he's not, what chance do I have of saving us?! If anyone should be the hero, it should be Levi or Mikasa — anyone who's strong enough to be there when they're needed most! All I ever do is fuck things up even more than they already have been!"
"Are you even listening to yourself right now?!" he shouts, taking fistfuls of the front of his shirt and Eren's listening now. "Do you know how much you've done for us?! How much faith humanity has in you?!"
He hangs his head and mumbles, "How much faith I have in you . . . ?"
Eren feels his lungs constrict in his chest, rendering him completely helpless as he struggles to get enough oxygen. "You're not a mistake, Eren." he says and he's left speechless at the fact that he's seemingly telepathic. The exact thoughts flashing through his mind had somehow become clear to Armin and Eren wonders why it's always been that way. But deep inside him, he thinks he knows. He just doesn't want to. "I know how hard it is to think you're useless. To think that everyone around you is so much more capable and to wonder why you even deserve to be here. I've felt it all before and I completely understand."
Armin's fingers loosen their grip on the fabric of his shirt slightly. "My entire life, I've felt like a burden. To Mikasa, to the corps, to everyone. But especially to you."
He looks up with a sad smile, tears still steady as they run past his lashes and down his cheeks. "I always thought you were the key humanity needed to survive. To eradicate the titans. You had bravery and strength while I had nothing. I thought . . . you hated me."
Eren wants to tell him that isn't true — that it never was and never would be. But his mouth isn't moving and besides, he thinks Armin already knows. "But I realized something."
He blinks, letting another tear fall across his skin. "It didn't matter what I thought of myself as long as you still had faith in me."
His stomach flips, but this time it isn't out of fear. "No matter what happened, you were always willing to entrust your life to me and that was all I needed. Even if I felt like I didn't matter to anyone, I always remembered the times you showed me that I did to you."
He takes a step closer into Eren's personal space and his breath hitches. "So even if it doesn't mean anything to you, I . . . you've always been a hero in my eyes. You always have been and probably always will be. And no matter what comes our way, no matter what obstacles we might face, just know that you're a hero. You're my hero."
He can't restrain his tears as they slip from his eyes and he's suddenly pulling Armin into an embrace he thinks he needed. The blond's arms wrap instinctively around him and he buries his nose in golden hair, taking in his scent and feeling himself relax a little. "Armin . . ." he mutters, holding the embrace a bit longer before pulling away. He brings his hand to press against his cheek, wiping away his stray tears. "Thank you." he says sincerely. Armin smiles and before he knows what he's doing, he's leaning forwards and pressing their lips together. He kisses him back tenderly, wrapping his arms around Eren's neck like a lifeline. Their lips slide together like they were meant for each other, prefect and everlasting. There's a hint of serendipity Eren thinks, but it isn't necessarily that. Nothing about the way their hands pull each other closer, all their passion and grief melting away in one glorious kiss, is anywhere near serendipity. It's more like destiny — like a rope that's tied them together from the start that they've now discovered had them connected. A revelation, an epiphany, a realization that things had always been this way and they were either too young or too dumb to notice. Perhaps a little of both.
But despite how long they've waited for this moment, it has to come to an unfortunate end and they both take a moment to catch their breath. But then Armin pokes a finger to Eren's chest and says, "So next time you think about sacrificing yourself, you should consider other people's feelings."
"Oh? And how do other people feel?" he finds himself asking with a grin and he's amazed at how the conversation went from serious to playful because of a kiss. "Other people think you'd be stupid to do something like that and if for some reason it went wrong, they'd be drowning in misery."
"That seems a bit intense, doesn't it?"
"You know there are people who love you right?"
"Are there?" he asks with mock innocence and the blond rolls his eyes fondly, his fingers toying with the hair at his nape. "Yes, in fact, there are."
"Does one of them happen to think of me as their hero?"
"Shut up." he laughs, giving Eren's lips another peck. "You aren't allowed to use that against me."
"So you love me, eh?" he avoids the question and giggles at the pout Armin gives him. He kisses his frown before pulling away to bring him into another hug. "Of course I do," he mutters eventually and Eren can't help smiling into his hair. "I love you too." he says and it's like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. And now that years of unspoken words have finally been said, everything seems a little less impossible.
