(A/N:) very loosely based on a conversation later in the manga. spoilers from season three
They're walking together, in the dead of night, when Armin first notices it. He had glanced over at his best friend, who walked beside him, and had seen his lantern tremble in his grip. His brow furrows and he subconsciously reaches a hand out, placing it over the brunet's, who's quick gaze jumps to him as if he's been startled. "Eren," he says gently, feeling his hand tremble beneath his fingers. "You're shaking . . ."
Emerald eyes turn away and he bites his lip. "Are you scared?" he decides to ask and his response is immediate. "What?! No, of course I'm not scared!" he says loudly and Armin's heart aches. "Eren, your hands are shaking."
"I'm . . . I'm just cold." he replies, but Armin knows he's lying. "My hands are cold."
"Oh," he mumbles, deciding not to push him too hard. "I'm so afraid I haven't been able to stop trembling." he says and green eyes glance to him, seeming almost blue in the dark. "See?" he asks, holding his hand out for the brunet to see and they watch the way his fingers quiver in fear. "Eren, aren't you ever scared of the titans?"
He doesn't answer and Armin swallows nervously. "I think it's normal. The first time I fought a titan, I was so scared I couldn't even move."
He looks to his best friend, feeling his eyes begin to water, but he blinks away the tears. "That was when you — and our comrades —" he adds, feeling his heart twist uncomfortably at the memory. "Got devoured. But Eren, you . . ." he turns to him then, his chest tightening. "You saved me from getting eaten. Why did you do that?"
He feels a familiar pang of insecurity, but pushes it down as emerald eyes flit over his face. "Why wouldn't I?" he asks as if he's shocked Armin could think such a thing. He looks at Eren in mild surprise, feeling something twist in his chest. "You're my best friend. I couldn't let you die."
He smiles smally and tucks his hair behind his ear, feeling his face begin to heat. "And if I had let you get eaten by another one of those monsters . . . I wouldn't have been able to live with myself. Losing you would've been hard enough. But to know it was my fault . . ."
He nods even though Eren's staring rather intently at the ground because he knows exactly how that feels. "I felt the same way." he says and when green eyes dart to him, he wishes he hadn't said anything. "At Trost. I thought it was my fault. If I had gotten to you in time, I . . ."
He has to cut off because even though Eren's here, alive and breathing, right next to him, he can't shake the image of him getting eaten from his mind. And as much as he's tried to forget the pain and the feeling of his soul being torn from his body when that happened, he can't. And he knows if it happens again, he won't be able to survive. He never wants to feel that pain ever again.
"Armin," Eren says strongly, reminding him again that he's here — alive. "It wasn't your fault."
He grimaces, wishing he could believe him. He decides to speak, hoping it will untie the knot that's formed in his throat. "How were you even able to rescue me? You were . . . severely injured."
The image of Eren laying seemingly dead on a rooftop, his head bleeding profusely, his leg severed at the knee comes back to mind, but Armin shakes it away. Eren hesitates for a moment and when Armin looks, he thinks he sees a shadow of something he might recognize. "It was . . . you."
"Me?" he asks, unsure of how he manages to speak without stuttering, his cheeks igniting into flames. "Yeah. Your eyes."
"My eyes?"
