Chapter F of My Life - Rhea Angela Arancon
(written: December 04, 2012, 12:54PM, Tuesday, Makati City)
Listen to me.
...Cause I’m worth your ear.
Yes, I’m still worth your ear.
Yesterday, I broke the glass cover of our one and only casserole. At noon time, as I was cooking, my elbow accidentally pushed it from its place, thus it fell and broke. For a minute or two, I sat down on the floor beside the broken pieces and looked intently...
(Then I picked up the big pieces and swept clean the little minute pieces by a broom and a dustpan)
Little did I know that late that same night, I would see and feel my life as if broken pieces of glass.
Around 10pm, after watching some teleserye’s and having a fill of Ate’s Cream Puff, I went to bed, grabbed the laptop and searched for Chemical Engineer Board Exam results. Blah blah blah blah… to cut the narrative short, I didn’t find my name in that list.
The Unexplainable
I felt blank. All my thoughts, my heart, my soul and my memory seemed to escape from me. It was a brief moment, as if my essence flew to a faraway unknown void where nothing there resides nothing but nothing, nothing, nothing. It took a divine minute to regain consciousness. And when I was back to myself, I burst into tears. At my right was my ate; at my left was my kuya. And they both hugged me.
Chapter F of My Life
In all my life’s chapters A to E, I dreaded and feared facing this chapter F. I before thought, I’m willing to go through all chapters but not F, not F please. Be far from me, oh F. Not you, F. Never you, F. I don’t wanna welcome you, F. Stay far from me, F. But however hard I tried and however harder I prayed, F did come. Now is a time for me to grow, might as well welcome you now, F, as how I would welcome all the others.
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” Job 1:21
“Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” Job 2:10
God Almighty: His Presence and His Silence
People say that silence is golden. Only with those people whom you are comfortable with
can silence for hours be not awkward. And between my God Jesus and I,
His silence became as sweet as His presence.
All the 7 months of preparation for the Board Exam, I studied and prayed. My not passing the Boards suggested the thought that God never heard my cries and my pleas about all those I prayed for, but I choose not to believe that. I believe that every single prayer earnestly offered to Him, He did listen to.
Thus He must not be mistaken on this. He is up to something, something I now still do not see and understand. I can’t see His hand, but I’m trusting in His heart. His heart seeks to bless His people, to make them better people, to make them more faithful and trusting to His ways. God is Lord over all flesh and the entire universe, and nothing can ever reduce His Omnipotence,Sovereignty, Greatness and Beauty. Nothing can reduce His being Lord and God Almighty. Not a single denial of my request can make me believe less in His power and the power of prayers rightfully addressed to His Name.
“Can you fathom the mysteries of God?
Can you probe the limits of the Almighty?” Job 11:7
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels or demons,
Neither present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth,
Nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God
That is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39
Rise Shine and Soon Bloom
I won’t allow this chapter F to kill the dreamer in me.
Stars shine best when it’s dark.
People, like flowers, will bloom at the perfect time where they are planted.
“Half a man’s character is revealed when he wins.
The full of it is revealed when he loses.”
“Life is like a snow globe.
It’s most beautiful when it’s turned upside down.”
The prayer in me goes on... lives on…
A heart that’s made for eternity won’t be broken by something that’s of the world.
Jesus is in this heart. He tests, He prunes, He makes things beautiful at its time.
The Rest is Yet to Be Written
Chemical Engineer license, do wait for me. I’ll sweat and I’ll fight to truly get you by April 2013.
*To my God Almighty, You are true, sovereign, mighty and awesome.
Now in this storm that I’m in, watch me worship You all the more.
There’s no stopping to our walking hand-in-hand, to our love story, to You-and-I-together.
P.S.
Rhea Angela Arancon now is a licensed Chemical Engineer. Praise God!
