Wattitude Magazine - September 2012

17 - "He Sees Me" by sivilsj

"He Sees Me" by sivilsj http://www.wattpad.com/story/1752101-he-sees-me

Critique by @CabooseHatesBabies

     Obviously the first impression of every story is the blurb. It's usually filled with dramatic details that captivate the reader's every emotion, as if it's begging them to read. "He Sees Me" by sivilsj does just this. The blurb is very dramatic, ominous, and dark, and drew me in. I think it could use some work on the formatting, as it is sort of difficult to read because of a lot of indents, but lines like "He's in your head, playing with your mind... he took my friend and there's no telling how many others he's taken. I could be next, or maybe one of my other friends. Or even you" make up for all the confusing indents and leave the reader with many questions they desperately need answers for.

     A few great things I've noticed about this author are his grammar and spelling, which are for the most part perfect, and his ability to incorporate eeriness and drama into what he's writing. To have such strong reactions after only reading a small amount of his work is pretty rad, and I'm definitely going to read more.

     In Chapter One, the reader gets a good sense of exactly how real and how scary "he" is. This chapter presents a lot of imagery and many details so the reader can visualize what is going on when it comes to the narrator's point, but there is also a sense of mystery and confusion to it as the narrator tries to figure out what is going on. I like the fact that the reader and the narrator are wondering about the same things and have the same questions going through their heads. It makes it that much easier to relate to the narrator and to place oneself in that situation.

     Overall, if you want a story that will give you goosebumps and tickle your brain a little, this is it. So go check it out, kiddies! It's worth the time, for sure!