A quiet place

2~ Marcus

I need to get a grip.

Life is so unbelievably hard right now, I'm struggling and all my family wants me to do is man up and go on a stupid field trip with dad! I don't get why they don't understand that I don't want to go. I don't want to see what the world has become, I just want to stay at home!

The only time I've left the house since all this started is when we go to the shops, or to get medicine, and that's traumatizing enough! Mum and dad apparently want me to be able to "take care of myself", but the truth is I will never be able to take care of anyone, let alone myself!

I'm a scaredy cat, point blank. I was even scared of everything before all this, so I guess you could imagine what I was like when we first realized what was happening in the world. I don't understand why I have to be able to protect myself, Regan can, mum can AND dad can! Why can't they just protect me? Do they not want to look after me anymore?

At this point I'm so terrified and insecure I don't know what to do with myself. I have no one to talk to about this. Regan is too troubled right now, mum's always worrying about whether she's done all the washing or if there's enough leaf plates for dinner, and ever since Beau died dad just doesn't want to interact with us as much.

Our whole family is falling apart and I'm the only one trying to keep it together.

But it's really hard to save other people when you're drowning too.