the butterfly project | destiel

12 | soulmates.

dean was with bobby when he felt it.

he felt the tingling sensation on his thigh, it had grown to comfort him at this point. his soulmate, whoever they were, was a beautiful artist. he snuck into his room and looked down to see a giant butterfly outline being traced onto the skin. he sat and watched in admiration. it took a few minutes before it was finished, and just when he was about to leave and continue on with his day, he saw a word beginning to form.

he gasped loudly, tracing the word that had just been left. his own name. he looked again to the butterfly's colors and saw it resembled his own eyes quite well. only one person that wasn't jo knew him well like that, to know the exact color of his eyes.

cas.

cas was his soulmate!?

he took a minute to try and process this information. his blood was pounding in his veins and breathing was heavy. he didn't have a lot of time to freak out, however.

the sensation continued. but this time it was more of a burning feeling, like he was being branded. sad, misshapen butterflies started to show up on the rest of his legs. the eventually his arms. even his stomach. a sinking feeling started to pool in the pit of dean's stomach. cas was in trouble, he could feel it.

before he could dwell on his thoughts anymore he was out the door and shouting at bobby that he'd be back, it was an emergency. he slid into the impala and slammed the door, turning the key in the ignition and not bothering with a seatbelt. he swerved wildly through the streets, trying to rack his brain and remember where cas told him he lived. he called charlie to be sure.

"howdy!" she picked up the phone enthusiastically.

"wheredoescaslive?" it came out as one word.

"huh?" her voice got serious once she realized dean was panicking.

"where does cas live?" he tried again, fighting hard to keep his voice steady. she gave him the address and he hung up without another word, punching the gas and trying to assure himself that it would be okay.

once he was about a block away from the address charlie had given him, his sense of urgency grew. bad shit was definitely going down, he needed to get in there and fix it. now. suddenly, a car he hadn't seen before cut him off at the intersection and he laid on the horn after slamming on the brakes. he didn't have time for this traffic. he abandoned the impala in favor of running to castiel's house on foot. it was in sight now, growing closer...

he heard the music coming from one of the upstairs windows of the house. he tried opening the front door, but it was locked. he started banging frantically.

"cas!!!" he shouted. "let me in! oh god, please let me in!" he backed up to try and slam into the door and break it open but it wouldn't budge. that was when he noticed a window next to it.

he pulled his shirt over his hand and punched the glass. it gave in eventually, but not before a few of his fingers were definitely broken. an alarm blared as soon as the glass was broken, but he ignored it. he reached his good hand in the window to unlock the door and as soon as he was in the house he bolted up the stairs to the room he had heard the music come from. sure enough, he saw castiel there. lying pathetically in a pool of his own blood. dean choked on a sob and rushed over to him. he scooped him up into his arms, the other boy's glasses falling off in the process. his eyes were still blue, but they felt different. more cold, icy, and lifeless.

"cas, no. please please please." castiel's head limply fell back and dean nearly screamed. he tried to remain calm though, and took out his phone to dial 911. he gave them the address and told them to hurry as fast as possible. as they waited for the ambulance dean checked cas's pulse. it was faint, but it was there.

"stay with me, cas. come on please." time was passing incredibly slowly and dean nearly couldn't take it anymore. finally, the sound of sirens grew closer and dean scooped castiel's body into his arms and took him outside. blood was still dripped from his wrist so dean made sure to keep pressure on it.

when the ambulance finally arrived, dean lied and said he was castiel's spouse so that he could ride with them. he took cas's cold hand and traced patterns on it, trying to keep his thoughts positive despite the circumstances.

~

cas spent a day in the hospital without really waking up. besides the times he thrashed in his sleep, mumbling things about "i killed all of them. i killed them. my butterflies, they're dead." but the nurses always rushed in quickly to give him more sedative.

dean stayed by his side the entire time. he called bobby and told him what happened so he came to sit with them as well whenever he wasn't at work. he owed an explanation to charlie, so he told her that cas was in the hospital without giving out too many details. she promised to visit as soon as school let out. but dean stayed no matter what.

his bladder was finally starting to get the best of him, though.

he let out a deep sigh and let go of castiel's hand before shuffling his chair out from under him and moving out to the hallway. he turned a corner searching for the bathroom and bumped into bobby.

"sorry." dean said shortly, his voice cracking since he hadn't been using it much lately. he moved to get around the man but was stopped short by a firm grip on his forearm.

"how are you doing?" he said gruffly. dean started to tell him he was fine but he was cut off as soon as he opened his mouth with "and don't you lie to me either, boy."

dean sighed and looked down at his feet.

"to be honest, i'm not doing too great bobby." a solitary tear slid down his cheek. "it's all too much. i feel like it's my fault." bobby scoffed at that.

"what a selfish thing to say." dean looked up at the older man with hurt eyes.

"i just mean... maybe if i had found out we were soulmates sooner, he'd be okay. maybe if i would've been there for him-"

"now i'm gonna stop you right there." bobby met dean's eyes and continued speaking in an authoritative tone. "he's suicidal, dean." dean flinched at the words. "suicidal people don't stop being suicidal just because they fall in love, or meet their soulmate, or whatever else. no matter what, this is the way things happened. there's nothing you can do to go back and change it. so my advice to you is to get in there and help him, and stop worrying about yourself. right now he needs you more than ever."

dean soaked up the words and slowly nodded his head. bobby let his arm go so he could go use the restroom. once he got back, he was greeted by a fully awake castiel. he cursed himself for not being there when he woke up.

"hey cas." dean moved forward cautiously. "how you feeling?" castiel yawned and rubbed his eyes. dean thought it was adorable. he moved to sit back in the seat right next to the bed.

"a little confused." castiel replied. "where am i?"

dean went through and explained how he got worried and called charlie to get his address before racing to his house. he told him how he found him passed out, skipping out on the gory details. castiel's eyes saddened as dean told the story. he had but one question.

"dean. how did you know i was in trouble?"

dean sighed and took off his jacket, revealing different sized deformed butterflies all up and down his arms. castiel gasped softly and looked down to his own arms, where the images were mirrored perfectly. he couldn't believe it.

"we're..." cas started. he began to cry. "we're soulmates." it came out barely above a whisper. dean nodded and got up to comfort him, he sat down on the bed next to his soulmate and ran a hand through his hair. he leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead.

"don't cry cas, please." dean said. "we'll get through this." green eyes met blue. "together."