➬ BEN HARDY IMAGINES

roger | truth hurts [request] [part 1]

ben!roger x reader
warnings: angst, love gone cold, cheating

note: this was requested by rgerina, thank you so much for the request. admittedly, i did end up opting for the phone call option, but sort of combined them both? i don't know, but i hope you enjoy it! <3

loosely based off the scene in which freddie and mary are speaking on the phone, and mary is doubtful of him.

"How's the tour? How are the guys?" You asked chirpily, though your heart wasn't in it at all. It never truly was, nowadays, you suppose.

"It's alright, yeah, the guys are good, I guess," He replied messily, as though his heart was in it, but his mind was anywhere but.

"Good, give them my love," You called down the phone, despising the awkwardness you knew shouldn't happen between a newly engaged couple. Admittedly, you only despised it because you knew how exposing it truly was about the relationship you had held on a pedestal for so long.

"I will, babe, I will," He piped back, once more sounding so distant for someone who should be relishing in the sound of your voice after days of not hearing it.

Something caught your attention, though, something that fell in the lengthy silences between sentences, something that you'd be lying to say didn't chip away at your heart. Woman's laughter, so faux and full of nothing, but holding enough power to make you want to cry. You'd be kidding yourself if you didn't believe that's exactly what was stealing Roger's attention.

"Where are you headed next?" You tipped your head back against the sofa to suppress the tear that threatened so harshly to spill down your cheek.

"Somewhere near New York, I think, I dunno," He answered, and you prayed for some kind of power outage or internal combustion, just any excuse to get off the phone.

Speaking to the one you loved, shouldn't ever feel like such a chore, for either of you. So, why does it? Even you knew the obvious answer, but something about admitting it would make it all too real, and you'd much rather stick to make-belief and perfect lies than the cold hard truth.

"Do you miss me, Rog?" You were so close to crying now, too close for your liking, but it wasn't as though you could help it at all.

"Of course, what a stupid question," He replied, and you could hear the smile on his face. Something about that sentence seemed to rip the bandaid off for you, and the tears began to fall. The way his voice sounded, reminded you of the times when you knew he actually meant it.

But, you weren't stupid, and he had always been a bad liar.

"Of course, sorry, it's late," You laughed it off, not at all wanting Roger to worry.

Another voice appeared down the line, one that made your heart drop to the floor. It was a woman's, so prim and proper, so much nicer than your own. "Roger, you coming?" Was all you managed to catch, and all you wanted to hear.

"Speaking of, you should get to bed, babe, you have work in the morning," He said and you winced, your heart clenching at the words.

You'd been fired weeks ago. You'd told him about it, cried about it over the phone to him for a lengthy hour. Shows how much he paid attention, really.

"Y-Yeah, I should," You replied, wiping the tears from your eyes, "I love you, Roger."

Silence. Silence that slowly ripped your heart in two for every second that it continued. You wanted to scream, you truly did. Scream for him to just say it, whether he meant it or not, whether he spoke it to you or whoever was around him, whoever had stolen him from you. Just to say the words he never used to have a problem saying to you.

"Goodnight, love," He uttered back, before the phone hung up and the line went dead. The long, monotonous beep replaced his voice and you held onto the sound until the phone fell from your fingertips.

One thing you'd learnt throughout your life, is that you can never revive a love that died, no matter how hard you try, or how long you wait. Remaining in a relationship gone cold is like sitting by a grave, waiting for roses to bloom on their own.

For some reason, Roger had seemed like the one exception to that rule, that one that seemed so different to the others. You guess it's safe to say, never trust your heart, because it'll usually follow the highest bidder — even those who don't understand the rules of the auction, or the value of the prize.

It was time to admit the obvious, even to yourself. You were sitting on the grave, staring at the damp and ugly grass, picturing scarlet roses tall and beautiful, but seeing nothing other than mud and empty spaces.

Hanging the phone back onto the hook, you wiped your eyes and headed towards the bedroom, hoping to all things holy that perhaps, you wake up to a forest of ruby red.

P.S. i went to a vintage clothing sale today and got some original 80s clothing, honestly never been happier!! <3

— MIA.