➬ BEN HARDY IMAGINES

roger | nightmares

ben!roger x reader (can be read as ben to be honest, but i used roger's name)

warnings: angst at first, but a fluffy ending. minor description of a panic attack, though no graphic detail was included.

a/n: if you have a request, please leave one in the comments or my inbox, would be greatly appreciated <3

"Roger, please!" You begged, gripping his shoulders and shaking them desperately, tears brimming your eyes, "Just tell me what I did wrong, please! Why won't you just tell me?"

A cold, solemn gaze remained on Roger's face as he stared through you. It was as though you purely didn't exist, that he wasn't even ignoring you, that he couldn't see you. The tears that you had stubbornly held onto prior finally gave way, streaming down your cheeks as an unsettlingly worthless feeling spread through you.

Your own boyfriend, the true love of your life, the one person that mattered over all, couldn't even tell that you existed. He couldn't ever hold you again, kiss you sweetly as he did before, he couldn't even look you in the eye and tell you he loved you. You didn't exist to him.

"Roger, please," Your voice squeaked, losing all power completely and resulting to nothing but a lowly whisper, a choked sob following suit, "Just speak to me, look at me, anything."

All of a sudden, so subtle that if you hadn't have blinked your eyes clear of the hazy tears, you wouldn't have noticed it, but a sly tear fell from Roger's eye, slipping down his cheek, only to be caught by his pale hand. Sniffling, Roger's gaze latched onto the silver ring that circled itself around his pinky-finger – a gift you'd given him on an early anniversary, one he hadn't taken off since – and he raised it to his lips, shutting his eyes tight as he kissed it gently.

"I miss you, angel," Was all you heard from the muffled voice of your lover, before everything fell into darkness around you.

Suddenly, you were jerked awake, your breathing erratic and broken as you heart boomed painfully against your chest, tears dampening the soft skin of your cheeks. Instantly, through the dim light of your bedroom, you looked directly into the soft, yet concerned eyes of Roger, towering over you with an exhaustedly worried expression on his face.

"Love? Are you alright? You were crying and calling my name," His voice was soft and clear, yet still groggy from the slumber you'd clearly awoken him from, not broken and rough like before, "Was it a dream?"

A nightmare. You wanted to say, but your voice betrayed you as another sob left your lips, sending a panicked wave shooting through you as you thought for a second that perhaps you were stuck in another dream, or back in the original one.

However, when the pad of Roger's thumb swiped at your cheekbone and swept the dampness away, you relaxed completely into his touch and breathed through the adrenaline. Focusing purely on his faint breaths and gentle caress, you managed to pull yourself together.

"A-a nightmare, Rog, it was terrible," You shut your eyes and breathed deeply again to stop the sob from spilling out.

"Shh, love," He hushed you, running a gentle hand through your hair as he looked down at you with nothing but love in his eyes, "Talk when you're ready."

"I-I was trying to talk to you, but you wouldn't reply, or even look at me. I was standing right in front of you, but you just looked through me," You began, your breathing soothed by the calming feeling of Roger's hand stroking the top of your head, "I-I think I was dead, or something, because you didn't even see me, and you were crying, and you started talking to yourself, telling yourself that you missed me and you kissed your ring."

Roger eyes were full of understanding, no judgment or disbelief, just sympathy and soft affection. You were thankful, because the last thing you wanted right now was for Roger to think you were insane.

"Here, love," He took his hand and grabbed your own, slotting his fingers between yours, a perfect fit, might you add, and kissing your knuckles carefully as he mustered up an appropriate thing to say, "It was only a dream.

"See, I'm real, you're real. I can see you, hear you, feel you," He continued, voice low and gentle to calm your nerves. He clocked that your breathing was still hitching occasionally, and your heartbeat was still banging obnoxiously against your chest, so he held your hand up to his chest, "Feel that? I'm real, love."

Feeling his heartbeat against your skin acted like an anchor for you, something to hold you down and keep you grounded, preventing you from losing your bearings and floating off completely.

Admittedly, it did take you a few minutes, but the steady rhythm of his heart and the occasional hushes and cooing from him calmed you down, and eventually you gave him a tired grin.

"That's what I like to see," He responded, pecking your lips with his, softly at first but deeper when a wave of unwarranted guilt flooded him, but he pushed it aside fairly quickly.

"Thank you," You replied quietly, wrapping your arms around his neck and holding him tightly.

"No need, baby, as long as you remember that I'll always be here," He whispered tenderly into your ear, placing a kiss there too, "Always."

Squeezing him tighter, you closed your eyes and felt him relax onto the mattress, repositioning himself slightly so that his entire weight wasn't pressed against you, but still cuddling up to your side.

Softly, the patterns of your breathing levelled out and your grip around him softened as you drifted back to sleep, leaving Roger curious as to whether he would show up in your dreams once again.

By the loving smile that was plastered on your lips, he fell asleep knowing that you still thought of him, no matter what, no matter when.