Lizard's Sparkle

chapter 4

Hayley.

"So how come Endora looks so, you know, not so dead anymore?" I asked Serena as I walked beside her, following the weird zombie that kept turning to stare at my glitter in wonder and totally freaking me out in the process, screwing my face up as I pondered Endora's drastic change - because that witch had literally looked like the arse end of one of her zombies.

She grinned. "Rumour has it that someone cursed her to look like an old hag because of a life long feud, apparently she's only just managed to undo most of the magic."

"Really?" I squinted at her, because firstly Serena had no friends and therefore never got the decent gossip, and secondly anyone who decided to curse Endora was both a total nutcase and my new best friend.

Serena huffed. "Fine, it was Grams, she bragged about it for weeks."

I snorted, Grams had balls of steel to mess with that old witch, then shivered in revulsion as the zombie stared at me again with more of that oozing gloop running down his face. "Serena," I whined, "He's being creepy again," I pointed towards the zombie, while I stumbled over rocks and twigs that scattered the ground leading towards a forest darkened by ancient, enormous trees that blocked the sun. "Just fireball him or something."

She laughed, the whore, and seemed weirdly happy that my words only made the zombie stare at me more. I didn't know what his deal was but I was sorely tempted to send a cloud of explosive glitter his way until he either poofed into teeny tiny pieces or, you know, just sparkled, because my glitter was hormonal like that.

"Unless you want to be stuck in the elf kingdom with your new perv-dad I'd suggest not killing the already dead Eric."

Gosh. She was such a joy-sucker. Well, a kitty-cock sucker too, but that was both irrelevant to my point and freaking hilarious.

I snorted and choked, nearly turning bright red trying to hold in my hysterical giggles as Serena stared at me with narrowed eyes.

"I know you're thinking of something to call me, Hails, I can tell by your constipated face." She pointed at me and pouted - a pathetic excuse for a pout that would never manipulate anyone to do her bidding.

Unable to breathe due to an overproduction of glitter and giggles still fighting their way free, I simply mimed an expressive and quite possibly porn-worthy act of giving a blowjob, complete with over-exaggerated facial expressions, hand gestures, and some impressive muted gags, while gesturing at an unamused Cat.

I think she got the point.

She sighed and rubbed at her eyes. "You're such a dick, Gypsy, when we find Lily I'm totally making her my new best friend."

Heaving breaths I managed a dismissive wave of my hand, completely unconcerned by her threats - Serena had the patience of an agitated wasp, she'd last all of thirty seconds before insulting Lily and coming straight back to me.

She's mine for life. Which means I get to make cat jokes for the next thousand years and I couldn't even imagine a better future than the one she'd literally laid right at my feet.

Of course it was also payback in spades for that time she spread 'scaly-vadge' around town and unashamedly lied to me about who started the rumour. I can't help that I have a tendency to ride my dragon naked, it's not like I do it on purpose, I just have a bad habit of...well...losing my clothes I suppose. I don't know where they go but it's like they run off as soon as I even think about getting on Lucian, and contrary to popular belief magically producing clothes to wear while flying through the air ontop of a two tonne dragon while dealing with air currents is actually pretty damn hard.