Just The Way I'm Not (Prince Harry Fanfiction)

Chapter Thirteen

Craster village is unchanged. I found driving back through it shameful. After all that fuss I made about leaving and being cocky and rude to my parents, it’s so embarrassing that I have to come home and tell her I failed. Failed at making my life interesting. Failed at my only ever relationship. As the taxi drove past the village sign I wondered if Harry had been thinking about me. He’d probably moved on, he didn’t need an annoying kid like me, he’s a Prince and can get whoever he wants. The thought that I mean nothing hurts, but it’ll help me move on. I grab my suitcase and pile through the front door, sighing with relief when I notice no one’s home. What am I meant to do with myself? Harry showed me the amazing life I could have and now I’m back here. I have to remember that if I hadn’t left him, he would’ve sent me home. This was his entire fault and I hate him for it. I had to think positive, I’m going to University next month and I’ll meet new people, people who are ten times better than Harry. I kept telling myself this, but somehow I just couldn’t believe it. I didn’t love Harry, I didn’t. I was in love with the idea of him. I mean it’s hard not to, it’s not like a normal situation, the paparazzi, London, his entire different life, it was new and exciting and I think it made me more obsessed and in love then I actually was. I sigh and straighten up, dumping a load of my clothes in the washing machine and unpacking. I should go out tonight, show my face. If I stay in I’ll cry and I did enough of that when I was packing this morning, I need to have some fun. I’ll go to the pub and see some of the locals. Once I’ve told myself this is what I’m going to do, I have something to work towards. I go upstairs and get settled back into my room, disposing of my suitcase and changing my clothes. I don’t need Harry, right? I shake my head and walk over to my dressing table. I put on some mascara, blusher and lip gloss, ruffling my hair and attempting a smile. It soon fades when something catches my eye, a silver chain glistening in the sunset. My ‘H’ necklace. Before I know it my eyes are filling with tears, I want to scream, I want to pull the chain off me, but I can’t. I try to, several times, but each time I fail. It means too much to me still, I’ll get by, I know I will, but who am I fooling? I’m not over anything. I’m not over him.

Fresh and shining in a blue dress, I totter over to the local pub, practising my smiling as I go. I need this; I need to get back into normality. God, I’d give so much to rewind the clock and never meet Harry. He’s left me feeling so rubbish and I want to forget, but it’s so hard. “Holly!” the barmaid, Elissa says as I walk through the door “We thought you’d gone for good! So awesome to see you!” I smile at her weakly and look around; all the kind faces of the locals are staring at me pityingly. “Nope I was just on holiday” I lie, taking a seat at the bar. I glance at everyone, they look expectant, what do they want me to say?! “Oh guys!” I laugh in a silly tone “Please don’t tell me you believe the papers? I’m just friends with Harry! Most of the pictures I saw were photo shopped anyway!” Yet another lie. I can’t bare to tell these people the truth and they seem to believe me, their faces relaxing with every word. I order myself drink after drink, but tonight there’s not much chatting like there always is. I must look pathetic, all dressed up and drinking alone at the bar. It’s like something out a sad film, it’s embarrassing. “Holly” I hear a sad whisper. Immediately my eyes shoot round happily, but I see Niall. Somehow I find myself disappointed, it’s weird I don’t know who I was expecting to see. “Oh, hi Niall” I reply glumly. He smiles and takes a seat next to me, ordering a Coke. “So how’s your boyfriend?” he asks. Do I detect a hint of jealously? Well he certainly sounds bitter. “He was never my boyfriend Niall” I roll my eyes “Everyone’s got the wrong end of the stick.”

“But the papers-”

“Don’t believe everything you read” I snap irritably. Niall shifts uncomfortably in his chair, looking nervous.

“Well I missed you” he states quietly, giving me a sad look. Urg, why did he say things like this? It made everything so awkward and it was totally unnecessary. The effects on the alcohol were starting to wear in, my brains going foggy and I’m aware that everything I say from now on is going to be overly truthful. “Do you fancy me Niall?” I demand, sploshing my drink on the counter. He blushes beet red, pretending to be interested in the pattern on his shoes “W-Well, I mean… Ummm…” he gives a nervous laugh and meets my eyes, looking at me dead seriously. “You already know Holly… now come on, I’m walking you home.” He stands up and supports me, his arm around my waist… just like Harry used too. I don’t complain, in fact, it’s comforting. We stumble through the village in silence, past the life boat centre and too my front door. “Where are your keys?” he asks gently.

“Wow!” I giggle “You’re keen!”

Niall just looks annoyed and persists; “Your keys Holly. Give them to me.” But I carry on, throwing my arms around him “You’re amazing” I tell him, slurring my words “Don’t know why I never saw it before!” Before he knows what’s hit him, I’m crashing my lips into his. It’s not passionate or romantic, it’s just rough. I’ve grabbed onto his shirt and he’s obviously shocked. But after a minute or two, he kisses back. I reach into my pocket and find my keys bringing him inside. Niall doesn’t speak to me, his mouth has shaped into a perfect ‘o’ and he follows me too my room. I attempt to kiss him more, but he pulls away this time “No Holly” he says firmly. He takes my shoes off and tries to tuck me into bed, but I lunge forward. I reach out for him angrily, wanting him to kiss me, wanting to be comforted. “Holly no!” he shouts “This isn’t what you want; this isn’t fair on either of us.” Niall leaves me, staring at him in the moonlight, confused. He shuts my curtains and goes to the door “You don’t want me” he whispers “You want him.” And with that, he’s gone.