"You need to understand that you don't have bad mental health - you have mental illness."
Malik didn't teach Bakura how to love himself, but he was the bridge that helped him get there.
[ Credit for cover: samael_dire on Instagram ]
[ MLM, Thiefship...
Hey, guys. I'm so so sorry that this is like three weeks late, but I really needed people to look over it for accuracy before I posted it and I couldn't push them because it was the holidays and they were having a rough time, and then it was my first few days back at uni so I was just struggling a little. But here it is! Hopefully I'll update on time from now on. Hope you all had a great/tolerable/not as shitty as it could have been holiday.
CW: Dissociation, anxiety attack, discussing Malik's early childhood, intrusive thoughts.
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"The results from your tests are back."
Malik sat closer to the edge of his chair. He had done the tests a few days after his third appointment; once Hasegawa got his notes from his old counsellor. "And?" He drummed his fingers on the side of his chair.
"And..." She set her glasses on the table beside her. "Some of them are positive, and one or two are negative."
Six. He had done six. Malik licked his lips. They felt like he hadn't drunk anything in hours. "Which ones?"
"Well, you have a panic disorder that causes you anxiety and depression, as you'd expected." Hasegawa was using her soft, 'everything's okay' voice. Malik didn't like where this was going. "You also appear to have Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Dissociative Identity Disorder."
Malik's head spun, and he had to sink back against the back of the chair to ease the feeling that he was going to fall. It didn't help much. He focused on one of the flowers on the wallpaper, just above Hasegawa's head. "What does that mean?"
"It used to be called-" Hasegawa tucked her hair behind her ear. "-Multiple Personality Disorder. It's a form of dissociation that usually occurs due to childhood trauma that results in having... split personalities, for want of a better term. It's the mind's way of protecting you from what's going on."
Malik smiled. He smiled. "I don't have that." He shook his head. "It's a mistake. I'll do the test again, but I don't have that." He had gotten rid of his darker half in the Shadow Game. He had won. He was the only one in his body.
Hasegawa raised her eyebrows. "I know that this is a lot to process, Marik. Everyone deals with this differently-"
"No, it's a mistake." Malik gripped the arms of his chair too tight. His knuckles turned white. "I don't have whatever it is you just said."
"Dissociative Identity Disorder."
The clock on the wall was maddeningly loud. Malik squeezed his eyes shut. Block it out. "What makes you so sure?" Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. TICK.
Hasegawa turned a page of her clipboard. "Breathe, Marik." She waited until Malik took a few breaths. "Now I'm going to name a few of the symptoms of D.I.D, and I want you to stop me if you think there's been a misdiagnosis." She looked back at her clipboard. "An inability to recall key personal information. Distinct memory variations." Her eyes flickered up and Malik busied himself with digging the toe of his shoe into the rug. "Depression, suicidal tendencies, and mood swings. Sleep disorders. Anxiety, panic attacks, and phobias. Eating disorders. Psychotic-like symptoms. Substance abuse. Compulsions and rituals." Malik swallowed. His head was pounding. "You already mentioned you had your darker half during the Battle City fiasco a few years ago-"
