Let Go (A Hikaru Hitachiin Short Story)

Let Go 10

It was a few days after the phone call that had gone wrong, and Hikaru was beginning to panic. The phone he had all through high school, which contained all of his pictures and memories from old times, was gone. It had simply been ripped out of his life by some girl, leaving nothing behind. Those pictures and contacts meant everything to him. If they hadn't he would have just bought a new phone the second he had lost it and moved on. But he couldn't.

And the real reason made him feel guilty and disgusting.

Those pictures reminded him how in love with Haruhi he still was. He had loved her probably the second she displayed skills to tell the two twins apart, but never realized it until much after. If he told her sooner, would that have changed anything? Would that have been his wedding with Haruhi instead of Tamaki's?

Wondering hurt, because all of the questions he asked were all "what if's" that would never happen. He had to stop thinking about her. He had to stop. He had tried distracting himself with Megumi, until she ran off with the shadow underdog and left him in the dust. Maybe he just needed to meet the one. But he was still young, and that magical moment could be years away. Somehow Hikaru knew he just couldn't wait that long, no matter how hard he tried. He'd go crazy.

"Yeah, Kaoru?" Hikaru was busy talking on his house phone with Kaoru, trying to track down where the mystery theif lived. "Did you figure out anything?"

"I looked and asked Mina, and she said her friend who stopped by for a while had a bag like yours." He answered. Hikaru jumped out of his chair and frantically asked,

"Well where does she live? I need to get that bag back!"

"She... she lives uptown."

"Where uptown?"

"Uh..."

"Kaoru, I really need to go there."

"Hikaru, you can't visit them anytime soon."

"Why not? I'm just taking back what's m--"

"Her brother died."

There was a predictable silence that followed, and neither twin knew what to say in order to break it. All Hikaru was thinking about was how much more sense the previous phone call now made, and how insensitive he was to the man he didn't know was losing his son.

"Oh." Hikaru managed to say something, and he heard Kaoru exhale on the other line.

"Yeah. Minako is really upset. She actually knew the guy, and apparently he reminds her of you."

Hikaru suddenly felt a migraine coming on and knew that he had to get off of the phone right that second or else he would positivley lose his mind.

"Kaoru, I am utterly distressed." He stated in an out of the blue tone of voice.

"Me too," Kaoru responded, "I'll see you tommorrow."

...

"Ellie, please just talk to me. You've been locked up in your room for days now and I doubt you've eaten. Please open up."

Ellie heard her aunt call through her door. It was true, to some extent. Ever since her brother died she hadn't set foot outside of her room other than to use the bathroom or get water. She hadn't been eating at all, and water tasted toxic, so she avoided that too.

"I will open this door."

Her aunt had never been one to go through with her threats. So Ellie stayed where she was, curled into a ball underneath her bed covers, with her eyes shut. She'd come out tomorrow. She couldn't bring herself to do that today. All she could do was adjust the headphones in her ears and blast All Time Low until she memorized every lyric to every one of their songs. Her favorite was a song called Somewhere in Neverland.

All she wanted to do was get out of this house. But she couldn't. It was too real out there. There were too many people judging her about who she lost, and what kind of person she was. The world was just another illusion. All of the crap about true happiness and beauty was a lie. All this life brought was pain.

Ellie, ever since the eigth grade, was cursed with the burden of anxiety. She couldn't sleep at night, she couldn't stop worrying during the day, and her panic attacks were beginning to come around more frequently. She used to see a therapist named Kelsy. Kelsy stopped counseling her a few weeks into the treatment, claiming it wasn't anything Ellie had done.

But now her brother was dead. And her parents were both distant and mourning. Her five year old sister called Mio didn't understand, so she went on like her life was never affected. A few times a day she'd knock on Ellie's door and ask for their brother, bringing tears to the elder sisters eyes and an increadibly strong urdge to fling the door open and hug her until she understood (which could possibly take many years).

"Sweetie, please. I'm opening the door and giving you some food and water. Also, you left your bag on the table. There's that too."

Ellie ignored the sound of the door clicking open and acted like she hadn't heard any of it. She squeezed her eyes closed even harder and twiddled with her headphones. The door stayed open for quite some time, and Ellie barley breathed until it closed. She debated about whether or not she should go get her bag. She rather wanted her bracelets. They helped her stay calm.

"Are you serious?" She practially whispered as she looked inside of "her" bag. A sweatshirt that was most definatley not hers, an iPhone several generations younger than hers, a boyish V-Neck white shirt, and black headphones that were similar to hers were some of the many items she discovered instead of her comforting ones.

Ellie stared at the heap of uneeded objects and then dumped them all on the floor of her room, her hands shaking and her breathing becoming a little uneven. She lost her bag? Those were some of the only go-to things she knew would calm her down, and now they were gone.

She layed down on the ground, accidentally falling on the navy sweatshirt. It smelled like a guys every day cologne; musky and good at the same time. She could kind of smell something like mint mixed in, too. Is mint something you can smell? She wondered.

Before Ellie could fully comprehend what was going on, she was completley calm. She was actually more relaxed she had been in days. She sat up with a yawn and zipped the sweatshirt on, feeling a tad bit guilty about her accidental theivery. She climbed into her bed and snuggled underneath her covers, feeling a foreign sense of comfort. All this from some strangers sweatshirt? Smiling, she turned up the music louder and drifted into the deepest sleep she'd had in weeks.

Wendy we can get away

I promise if you're with me, say the word and we'll find a way

I can be your lost boy, your last chance

Your "everything better" plan

Oh, somewhere in Neverland

We'll start a life of the plain and the simple

Of great times with far better people

And weekends with our friends

Laughing bout the wine that stains their teeth

We'll talk about how your parents separated and

How you don't wanna make the same mistakes as them.

I'll say it's all about stickin' it out

And trying to feel forever young.

...

Hikaru had been pacing around his room again. But this time, instead of thinking about his phone and being selfish, he thought about the girl who had lost her brother.

"Hang in there," He whispered, as if she could hear him, "It'll get better."

He couldn't help but wonder if he'd get a chance to tell her that in person. Maybe it would cheer her up.

...

I am so bad with updating. *Facepalms* Whatever, but now you've met... Her. And no, this will not be one of those super depressed stories. It kinda hints at it, but it spins it into a sweet direction :)

Thanks for reading! Comment what you think.