Let Go (A Hikaru Hitachiin Short Story)

Let Go 5

I woke up with a foul taste in my mouth. It was as the gross feeling of tears and congestion in the back of my throat. I had been crying all night, I knew that for a fact. What a baby.

I sat up in the chair I'd joined Kaoru in last night and realized he wasn't there with me. He had probably went out with Minako, or had joined her in her room. I didn't blame him. I was a pretty restless sleeper, even when I was upset.

Rubbing the crust out of my eyes, I shifted my body so that my back was pressed up against the back of the chair. A soothing ache went down the side of my torso I was curled up on, and I sighed with pleasure. Yawning, I figured out that my face felt like rubber, and it took a lot of effort to move my eyebrows or mouth. I must have been a mess last night. How could Kaoru put up with me?

Sighing once again, I made myself stand. Everything about last night was sort of a blur. I knew that I had broken down, and ran to Kaoru, but everything afterwards was kind of messy. My stomach growled at me, and I remembered I hadn't eaten since yesterday morning.

Kaoru's kitchen was a light blue color, with tile counters and a stain steel refrigerator. Minako, being the clean freak that Kaoru loved, always kept the entire house spotless. She also bought food every day.

I pulled open the fridge and stuck my face inside, letting the cold wrap around me. Minako was probably going shopping today... That explained the lack of good food. Good meaning totally unhealthy but delicious. I finally just grabbed a few pieces of bread and popped them in the toaster.

On the counter I saw that Kaoru had left me a note.

"Dear Hikaru,

Mina and I have gone out for a few hours. I'm sorry if we left before you wake up. Stay as long as you want, we will be out until five. Thank you for visiting me last night-- you know I'm always here if you need me to be.

Call Megumi or whatever her name is. Maybe she'll cheer you up ;)

~Kaoru"

Of course he wants me to call her. But that was the absolute LAST thing I wanted to do. Of course, however, Kaoru always got what he wanted. I'd end up calling her after I ate.

I jumped when the toast popped up, as always. Our mom told us that we had always been so cute when that happened; the little gasp of breath we took in and the immediate blush afterwards. We had always been ashamed of how easily we flinched at certain things. If we didn't see it coming we were goners-- except of course in Tamaki's case. Everything he did was totally out of the ordinary.

After buttering and cinnamon-sugaring the bread, I sat at the counter table and whipped out my phone, chewing as I checked my new messages. There was a voicemail from Tamaki that he left last night.

"Hikaru! It's nice to hear from you! Haruhi and I are doing well, and we both miss you a lot. We will be coming home soon, hopefully.

We feel bad that you got sick at the wedding. We will definitely make plans for some kind of make-.up get together or something once we come home. Tell Kaoru and Minako I said hi! Don't do anything evil! Call me back."

I listened to the message a few more times before snapping it down on the table and holding my head in my hands. He sounded like my dad when he was away from home. What a cliche message.

Oh, Tamaki, what happened to you?

I kept chewing my food until there was only sugar left on the plate. That reminded me of Hunny and Mori. I missed them. I missed my old self. The one who used to be happy all of the time.

I was only eighteen. Why my friends decided to get married so young was beyond me, but I still envied their happiness. Why did Tamaki get everything? It was always all about him. I know he had a messed up past, but I had pretty painful one too. Was that what Haruhi loved about him? His past? The way he can still smile? I used to smile, too. Before she left me.