Bruises | l.mh

11

//yena

I HEAR MY MOTHER and Ji-sub go into their bedroom around ten. Once I hear the TV is on in their room, I throw on a sweatshirt over my long-sleeve and jeans and slip my sneakers on. I silently grab my small bag and leave my room, sneaking out the front door.

I don't bother locking the front door as I move down the metal stairs to the pavement sidewalk below.

I determinedly make my way toward the bus stop a few blocks down. This time, I'm getting on.

But as I reach the bench, my footsteps slow.

Do I want to get on?

I sit on the bench and stare at the building across the street. It's a small sushi place. There's a couple sitting in the window, staring lovingly at each other. I can't look away as the guy reaches out and touches the girl's cheek.

Then I hear the rumble of the bus coming from my left. I turn my head toward the bus and feel my heart rate speed up as it gets closer and closer.

I've almost gotten on this bus before. But I've never actually gotten on. Where will I go? What will I do once I stop? Should I even get on?

And then it's rolling to a stop, the brakes hissing in agony. The door opens and the bus driver sits there, looking at me, waiting for me to board.

"You getting on?" He asks.

I stare at him, trying to comprehend his words.

Am I? Am I getting on?

I quickly stand up, making a split-second decision. I move toward the steps of the bus, climbing up them. "Yes," I tell the bus driver. "Thank you."

I head to a seat near the middle of the bus and sit down as it lurches forward.

There are only three other people on the bus. One is an older woman, staring out the window. The two others are what looks like a father and his young son, both of them on their phones.

I'm not sure which stop to get off at. I've never done this before. I'm not even sure where the bus will go.

I look at the map on the side of the bus. It's confusing and I'm already pretty freaked out, so I look out the window instead.

There aren't too many people on the streets at this house. Mostly, I see people in small shops across the street, shopping or eating.

We pass a small music store and I see some young teenagers in there, looking excitedly at through CDs. They all look like they're good friends, having fun.

It brings me some sadness to see them.

Eventually, the bus gets more into the heart of the city. Even though it's a Monday night, there are more people out walking around down here. I see lots of people hanging around a certain building, so I get off as soon as the bus stops and opens its door.

I move through a few people trying to get on the bus and step out onto the sidewalk.

The cold air hits my face and I immediately feel more comfortable than I did on the stuffy bus. I look around as the bus drives away and see people walking toward a short building with no windows. There's a security guard standing at the door, so I'm guessing the building is some kind of club.

Where am I supposed to go?

There isn't really a place for me to go this late on a Monday night. I'm not even sure why I came out here. I just wanted to escape, I guess.

I walk down the street toward the building that's probably a club. A woman in very high heels and a short dress passes by me, giving me an odd look.