Somewhere only we know

Chapter 14: The unavoidable point --- Alfred's POV (Smutty)

How could my mother marry this disgusting monster? I asked myself, standing in front of the coach, where he decided to take a nap. Not a great moment for him to let his guard down like that, to become so denfensless. In that moment I was a thread for him, a great danger. I don't think I was responsible for my actions anymore. I didn't even care. 

The last two weeks have been a nightmare for me. Those dark thoughts have taken over me, more and more and more, because there was no longer someone to distract me. I needed  him so badly, before I would've gone too far with my madness. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I couldn't do anything like a normal person. I continued to go to school, just to keep the appearence.

What the fuck am I waiting for? She's not home, he's dreaming now.....just do it already! Oh god, Arthur, how I need you right now. I was starting to sweat a lot: my palms, my forehead, my back was dripping wet. I slowly wiped my forehead and took a deep breath. In that state of mind, I could actually do it. I walked slowly into the kitchen, lefting him snoring on the coach. I was overstrung, my fists were tight and I was bitting my lower lip, almost hurting myself. I stopped when I got in front of the cabinet where my mom used to keep the cutlery. I should use the big one....he deserves it. That was it. I didn't have the strength to stop anymore. I was going to kill my step father in the most grotesque way. I'll be on the news tomorrow:  Demented boy stabbed his step dad. Arthur would see that and would finally realise what sort of person I am. He wouldn't want to be around me anymore, he would be afraid of me . Come on!!! I wiped my face again, with both of my hands. I slowly opened the drawer and there it was: a huge, stainless steel cook's knife. I looked at it and lazily started touching the blade, with the tips of my fingers, the coldness of it sending shivers on my spine. Then I finally grabed it and raised it to look at it more. Should I stab him in the heart? Or maybe I should cut off his throat! 

''Alfred, what in the world are you doing?'' I dropped the knife on the kitchen floor and looked at my mother, who was rather confused than shocked. There goes my chance. ''Honey, are you ok?'' She asked me on a worried tone. I swallowed and smiled at her with hypocrisy.

''Yeah...'' Then I bent over, took the knife from the floor and put it back in the drawer, like nothing weird happened. ''I was just sorting the tableware.'' I stated without looking at her, but I could sense that she was almost bursting into laughter. Poor silly woman surrounded by beasts. But staying there, and pretending like nothing was going on was just too hard for me. I felt like I couldn't breath, I needed to get out of the house as fast as possible. The walls were suffocating me...as well as my mother's presence. I passed slowly by her, and to the entry door.

''Hey! Where are you going?'' She stopped me, making me quiver.

''I'm meeting with some friends.'' I lied. ''I'll be back by dinner.''I lied again. I wasn't meeting with any friends and I had no idea if I would be back home that evening. I had to see those green eyes...I felt like I was slowly dying, and seeing Arthur was the cure. My mouth was dry, my legs were trembling and my head was exlpoding again. I got out of the house and started walking in the direction of Kirkland's residence. But the lazily walk turned into a mad run. I felt like I was chased, and everywhere I looked people appeared like they were staring at me. I was breathing hard and kept wiping my forehead. Why was it taking so long to get to him? Fuck, I was nervous and...eager; and for the first time in the past two weeks I found myself wanting to...touch him, not only to be in his presence. 

And there I was, in front of his house, staring ahead. I took a deep breath and I began walking towards the door. I knocked softly one time, and I could already hear Daniel's ''I'm coming'' shout.

''Alfred! Hi!'' He looked at me smiling. This guy looked so clueless. How could he believe that his son would be with a mediocre, trivial guy like me?