Memoir

A lesson-1

Today I was reminded of a lesson that life taught me a few years back, It wasn't something major or life altering event, yet it taught me a lesson for life.

      It taught me to not believe every person that comes to me for help. Not everyone is genuine, some can play real well, so well, that it's only after you're fooled you realise that you have been played and they get what they wanted.

       I know all these words seems to inclined that something really serious happened to me that changed me, and in a way it did change my view for world or the way I looked at everything but it wasn't that serious. If you look at this as third person, you might say that it wasn't worth mentioning here in the book but for me that incident was important and still is because it change something in me.

      I will start with today's incident and then will tell you what happened almost 6 years ago, that change my thinking.

      This Afternoon, after my classes I left college with my friend, we were standing outside the main gate of college waiting for an auto, so we can go home, but there was no auto. So we were standing right on the side of the main gate, it was awkward because there were some boys staring at us but we tried to distract ourselves, looking around searching for something to talk about, suddenly two girls and a small boy came to us.

       All three of them were holding steel plates in their hands and each plate hold a picture of God, they came to us saying,"didi, panch rupay de de" (sister, give me five rupees), another one said "Moti didi do rupay de de"(fat sister give me two rupees) but I said "no" to them.

         I know what you are thinking,  what a cruel girl, can't she give two rupees, what are two rupees anyway.

        I know, I know two rupees are nothing nowadays but for them it's much more but still I didn't and don't want to give money as charity, so I told them flat out that I won't give them money.

        But they didn't left immediately,  there were other students and teachers leaving the building so they will go to them and beg for money.

        All three of them were kids, first girl looked like she was in her early teens but other girl look like she was around eight or ten year old, she was quite bubbly though, she was the one who called me "Moti didi" but the older one corrected her, as to not anger me, butI have to admit she was cute, saying it with a smile on her face, not like the others, who say it in a mocking way, so I didn't felt angry at her.

      So I was saying, the little boy was truly little, must be around five-six years, and he didn't speak to us either, just came and left after hearing no.

       They asked us for money about two three times but we weren't relenting, we were firm that we won't give money, so they didn't ask us again. The second girl and the little boy left us and crossed the road to go to the guys standing there but the first girl, the teenager, stayed with us.

       We asked her why she was begging,  that she was old enough to work and her working won't be considered as child labour but she ignored the question and try to dodge all the other questions we flung at her, she was quite intelligent, never giving away anything.

      We stood there five more minutes, waiting for the auto.The teenage girl was standing right there, mere inches away from me, leaning on the same wall as me, after two minutes of silence, she said,  "diwaar garm h na didi"(the wall is hot sister, No)it was only then I noticed that she was trying to get some shade as the afternoon sun was upon us, burning us.

        I felt both pity and guilt, looking at the girl standing beside me, and the little boy crossing main road without a care for the vehicles passing on both sides, and without anyone care about him, I remember asking the girl beside me to look out for her brother who was crossing the road and the simple answer she gave me "He is not my brother." Too simple right.

       Looking at the little boy crossing the road I remember how I never let my nephew to cross the road alone, even though he is eight year old, much older than the little boy.

       Yes at the moment I pitied them but the pity was mixed with guilt, guilt of not helping them and giving them money, they begged me to. It was strange I was feeling guilty yet I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong.

      When I think about it then I say it's my parents and elder's fault, who taught us to help someone who ask for it, give money when someone beg for it or how they always instilled it in us that, if someone beneath us ask for something that we have thenwe should give it to them or that it is our duty to halp others who can't help themselves.

       When you see small kids begging for money you want to help and if you don't then you are reminded of all those ethics  that you have learned from an early age and you're bound to feel guilty which I did.

        It was that guilt that made me ask the girl beside me, if she wanted to drink Jaljira (a refreshing summer drink, very popular in India)but she denied my offer,  stating that she had a cough.

       Once again she asked me for money but again I refused to give her any. But this time I gave her another option, in front of us, on the other side of the road there were some vendors selling different things like jaljeera, burgers, ice creams (softie, faluda)and burgers, I pointed to the vendors and ask her if she wanted to eat something from there and I will buy it for her but won't be giving her money,  she agreed.

       I was a bit shocked when she pointed to the vendor selling softie and faluda and asked if she can have a glass of faluda, I agreed but thought in my mind,'wasn't she just saying, she had a cough or something.' :)

      When we crossed the road, she called the other two children and told them that I was buying them faluda. They all cheered and the younger girl started praying to God, saying, "didi tumhari naukri lag jae, tumhe khushiya mil jae"(God shall give you job and prosperity, sister)

        They all were smiling, the bubly girl was all smily showing her teeth and all, the little boy didn't say anything again but he too had a smile on his face and it was satisfying,  the guilt I felt earlier just evaporated.

       The moment we reached the vendor's cart their bubbliness dulled a bit, I didn't think of it immediately but after ordering their glasses I saw them again with their plates with goddess pic in it and begging the boys, standing around the cart, for money and I have to stop them again and again.

       The vendor was preparing their orders when I get a rickshaw and just paid for their order and told those kids to get it from the vendors before I left.

       Now thinking about it I kinda feel a disappointment, like maybe if I had stayed one more moment then I would have seen their faces when they took their orders from the vendor or when they took their first spoon of faluda,  maybe I would have felt more satisfied but that's in past now, I missed that moment and it's not coming back, so I just have to imagine their smily faces, shining eyes, eating their faluda while ice cream dripping from their chin, I guess you get the picture.

      Today's incident was something, I don't have the right word to express it but it has a place in my good memories now, but it has also reminded me of the past incident that has no place in my good memories.

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        So this is only half the chapter, I know I'm being cruel but I'm sick and can't write the other half now so will try to post the next part soon (hopefully)

Sorry for the grammar mistakes and any typos you find in this book, I'm not good with grammar so I can only say sorry, hope this chapter/bookis interested enough to make you forget my mistakes.

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Have a nice time people.

Kanchan :)