Only You ✔️

10- What Ifs

"Nova?"

"Hmm?" She grumbles shifting next to me, and burying her face farther into my chest.

We had gone to bed early last night. I wanted to stay up and treat her. Try and get her mind off of everything that happened yesterday, but she didn't want to.

"You okay?" I ask her quietly.

She takes a deep breath and wraps her arm around my waist.

"I will be"

I rub her back comfortingly and kiss the top of her head.

"You know I'm here for you right?"

"I know, Spence."

"Anything you need, don't feel like you can't ask me."

I was probably pissing her off, but I wanted to be sure she knew I would always be there for her no matter what. Even if this thing between us doesn't work, I'll always be there for her. Because that's what love is.

She adjusts herself so she's propped up on her elbow, looking down at me through her dark eyelashes.

"I know Spencer, trust me. I would tell you if something happened"

"Good, I just want you safe"

She flashes a small smile in my direction before leaning down and gently brushing her lips against mine.

I kiss her back slowly, softly, and oh so sensually. She felt so good.

My hand tangled in her hair as it rests on the back of her neck. Her hand rests gently on my chest, and her touch sends jolts through my body.

I was so whipped, she had me wrapped around her finger and she has for years.

My heart starts racing as I deepen the kiss. I really really wanted to make love to her but I knew right now it was to soon, I mean we just started dating. But I wanted her so bad.

Nova pulls away and rests her forehead against mine, biting her bottom lip.

"Your heart is beating really fast" she whispers

"It always does when you're around" I whisper back

A flicker appears in her eyes. She smiles at me and I swear my heart stopped. She was beautiful and her smile was the most amazing thing I've ever seen.

"Novs I-"

I'm cut off by the doorbell ringing.

I groan. And Novas face flushes.

We untangle ourselves from each other and I head to the door, with her following close behind me.

"Hi, I have a delivery for a miss Nova Ramirez?"

Nova steps around me and goes to the door.

"That's me"

The delivery boy pulls a huge bouquet of pink tulips out of a bag and hand them to her.

Nova hesitantly takes them from him.

"Um thank you."

The delivery boy flashes her a warm smile before leaving. I shut the door behind him and turn to look at her. Her facial expression is forlorn. And she won't look at me. She's refusing to.

"Who are they from?" I ask

My curiosity was getting the better of me, and I knew that it wasn't going to end well for me.

Nova slowly open the card attached to the bouquet. Her eyes scan the card and become wet with unshed tears.

After she's done reading it, her face changes into a look of anger. She stomps into the kitchen and throws the flowers in the trash can before leaning on the counter with her head in her hands. I watch her body rake with silent sobs.

I hesitate before walking over to her and putting a hand on her back, slowly rubbing circles on it.

"I don't understand, why would he do this to me?" She asks with a muffled voice.

It didn't take a lot for me to connect the dots. It was obvious it was Wes who sent the flowers.

"I don't know babe."

She abruptly stands up straight and runs her fingers through her hair.

"He's  insane if he thinks he can do that and not have some kind of fallout!" She shouts.

The more she ranted the more I wanted to know what the card said.

"Hey calm down, just take deep breaths"

She groans before wrapping her arms around my torso. I engulf her in my arms and rest the side of my cheek on top of her head.

"I'm so confused Spence."

My body tenses up. I didn't want her to have any doubts about us or our relationship. And I especially didn't want her to have to choose. Although two the guys she been with let her go willingly, I wasn't going to.

I was going to fight for her, like I've never fought before.

I've been where she's been before, I fell hard for a girl and she left me high and dry, she broke my heart and tried to get me back after she realized what she had lost. I had moved on in my life and became successful.

"I know babe, you need some time to process everything, and I'll be waiting for you."

I wanted her to understand that. I wanted her to know just how much I care for her, and for Hallie. I want her to know just how much I love her.

But the thoughts keep circling in my head, the same ones that keep me up at night. The what if's.

What if she's not happy?

What if she breaks down and gives up?

What if she doesn't love me back?

I knew that she was broken. And I wanted to be the one to put her back together. I wanted to be the glue in her life. The stuff she could always rely on to fix her.

Her heart was shattered and I promised myself I was going to be the one to piece her back together, not just for her sake but for Hallies too. She needs her mom in her life and she needs her to be strong.

She can't give up when that little girl depends on her.

She can't, and I won't let her.

She sniffs and pulls away from me. I longed for the feel of her body molded to mine. I needed it. I craved it.

"Spence what if I mess this up? I-I don't know what to do."

She looks up at me pleading with her bright blue eyes.

I instinctively wipe her tears away, letting the feel of her soft supple skin under my fingers, take over my heart.

"You won't mess this up. It's impossible. You are to strong willed and determined. I believe one hundred percent that you will make it through this, I believe that you'll thrive. I believe in you Nova."

She smiles slightly at me before wrapping her arms around me again.

I kiss the top of her head once more before being consumed by her, and everything about her.

I can't let myself ruin my chances with her, I need to just man up and tell her the truth.

But how?