for my mind misgives..

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[some vile consequence yet hanging in the stars.. ]


The clock reads 5 in the morning when you arrive to your parents' house,  unable to sleep without telling someone something. It's been a full week since the news of your pregnancy and nearly 11 hours since your doctor's appointment. 

And your first ultrasound. 

Ramirez was completely off with you in a way that she remained completely professional with you the entire time. It's weird, and you know she's scared you're going to sue her despite the fact that you and her both know that the fault is completely that desk clerk's. 

You had no idea, though, that the first ultrasound was conducted transvaginally as opposed to that standard stomach gel variant you thought of. It was uncomfortable, and Ramirez pretended not to laugh at you when you said 'ouch' but quickly changed her tune. This entire fuck-up has you annoyed not only because of the fact that you ended up pregnant, but because the friendly relationship you've developed with your gyno has reverted back to square one. 

At least for now. 

Your next appointment is in 5 weeks, just in time for Christmas. 'Should you decide...'

That just leaves you to stress all the way through Thanksgiving, which is coming in on you fast. It usually entails a busy few days at your parents' house, of course, full of good food and annoying relatives. N'Jadaka only told you he'd be 'busy' on Thanksgiving, but you know what that means. 

It has you thinking that maybe you should try cooking for your friends this time. Just a lowkey Thanksgiving for once; God knows you could use the quiet. 

The kitchen light is on when you get out of the car, letting you know that your mother is getting ready to make coffee. She's the only one that's up this early  for no reason and you've long since stopped questioning it. 

Come 8 AM she'll be knocked out  again. 

Rather than go to the front door and possibly alert your father, you go around to the back patio and knock (activating almost all of the motion lights in the process). You can see her through the thin kitchen curtains and she flinches at the sight of you. 

"God-AlMIGHTY," she hisses, moving to unlock the screen door. "The hell are you doin' out-"

"It's twins, ma!" you shout, cutting her off and pushing inside. "She said she saw two."

Dressed in her finest silk head scarf and fluffiest robe, she just stares at you like you're speaking Mandarin, and then it just clicks. She suddenly chuckles, shaking her head and pulling another mug out of the cabinet. It's the one from your trip to Disneyland when you were 12, and the only mug you drink out of in the house. Decaf is on her, today.

"I knew your goofy ass was pregnant," she says, still laughing. "I was wondering how long it was gon' take you to tell me."

You just slide into the closest seat at the kitchen table, shaking your head at this sudden development. You've had ample time to think about your pregnancy this past week and you think that something is still missing from your thoughts. It'd only dawned on you on the way back from the ultrasound that you haven't told your parents yet and here you sit, nervously expecting your father to come down the stairs. 

The steps creak under the weight of something and you tense, ready to explain away why you're here so early. It's only Zeus, and he greets you with both paws in your lap like always. 

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