bad gal

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(we love a bad at writing smut sishtar)

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3 months.

3 damn months he's away from you. 3 months you're left exposed, forced to actually sit back and think about the person you want to become and the person you were before your ex. Devon, Devon, Devon, it all boiled down to him and how he'd ruined you and you're sure the therapist felt your emotional block burst when she'd asked you about any previous relationships.

And at first you wanted to be angry, you really did. The week turned into another, and while you began to get antsy you paid the time no mind because he'd said another week or so past the initial 2. But that turned into 3 weeks which became a month and you just got mad. Mad because you assumed he just lied to you to be petty and then mad at yourself for not worrying about him. Anything could have happened, and it took a lot of willpower to not succumb to those anxious thoughts creeping into the back of your mind whenever you had a quiet moment to yourself.

Sleeping got hard with so much worry in your stomach, but that's what caffeine is for. Weekends? The best, because you found every possible reason to be in a club with your girls acting like the drunk college chicks you never got to be on account of your parents' expectations. They said you were yourself again, that you were smiling and glowing and pretty in the way that they knew you were. Not necessarily in the physical sense of the word but in your vibe.

But honestly you just got good at pretending, because once you got home the worry came back and you were beginning to entertain the thought that he may not come back.

It's been 3 months and four days and you're eating a salad in some trendy outdoor cafe' you'd seen on an aimless walk around midtown with King. You're glad the obedience training took hold and you got to have an influence over his bad ass again because he acts like the perfect dog when you're in public. It's something you always worry about because he's a pit--a big one at that. Still a puppy and he's damn near the size of Zeus, with his cropped ears and dark eyes and strong stature when he's standing up. He looks like a damn panther and isn't that just hilarious?

Currently he has his heavy head on your lap, begging for table scraps even though you keep trying to make it clear that what you're eating is literally a bowl of tasteless grass with some radishes and sweet vinaigrette. It sucks, and you much rather your homemade ones; green or red leaf lettuce, boiled eggs, croutons, cheese, some kind of meat, four different types of vegetables and a topping of homestyle ranch. 'Health' be damned; life is short and you're hungry.

"King," you finally sigh, nudging him off you. "Get off me, greedy ass, I just gave you like 8 treats in the car."

He licks his chops like he has an attitude before turning his attention to the person scraping their chair across the ground. You don't pay them any mind, slightly tugging King's leash so he doesn't try and go any closer to anyone and scare them. 

"I'm sorry," you say absentmindedly, not even looking up from your food. 

A voice answers back, and it's one you never thought you'd hear ever again.

"____?" 

Still chewing, you look over to your absolute bitch of an ex, not exactly liking his impressed tone of voice as he says your name again to confirm. Out of all the places you see him here, and that just cements the fact that you need to postmate everything rather than go outside anymore. The 'you' that was going through it a few months ago probably would've made any excuse to leave, but the 'you' of today is too irritated about being alone that you just want to fight him. 

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