The Forgotten Fire

Chapter 7:

  "Come on now, you've wasted enough time here; let's get to training already." Tigerclaw rumbled.
Firepaw kept her golden eyes closed and her fluffy tail pulled close to her body, the tip tickling her nose. "I'm not well enough yet," she muttered.
Spottedleaf, seated near the large tabby, let out a sweet breath before gently saying, "Featherwhisker said you are perfectly healed up. There are just a few minor scratches remaining and perhaps a small pain, but nothing to prevent you from returning to your duties."
Tigerclaw, tail twitching with annoyance, growled, "So get up and let's go."
Firepaw said nothing, only remained tightly bundled in her makeshift nest. Before either tortoiseshell could react or understand what was happening, Tigerclaw moved forward and, with great irritation, pulled Firepaw from her nest. When he dropped her onto the cold medicine den floor her fur raised and she indignantly let out a hiss.
He replied, "You have no excuse to remain in here and no authority to deny me. We're going to go train now, whether or not you like it."
Firepaw's golden gaze met her new mentor's and held it steadily. She was ready to let Tigerclaw know that he did not intimidate her; he never had. Still, she knew better than to argue further with him and followed him out of the den, tail dragging behind her.
Spottedleaf called after them, "Don't be too rough on her, Tigerclaw, the point is that she is well enough to move back into the apprentice den, not stay longer in the medicine den!"
Out in the open of the camp clearing, Firepaw found her eyes narrowing against the light. It seemed much more intense than before, more glaring and unforgiving. There was never so much light in the medicine den, of what rays beamed through the tunnel walls. And the she-cat felt different too. While the medicine cat and his apprentice had been getting Firepaw to walk around the den some, she had not been active at all in her time there. When allowed to stay in her nest, she did so, slipping between foggy wake and dreams of a white-tailed she-cat and the depths of the river.
Although the air had chilled into a constant cooler temperature, Firepaw felt heat all over her: she knew she had her clanmates' attention and that embarrassed her greatly. She knew they had been whispering about her, wondering what had happened that day with Sandkit as well as why it was taking her so long to heal and emerge from the medicine cats' den. And now she was refueling their thoughts and questions of her, instead of allowing them to forget about her as she wilted away surrounded by the scent of herbs as she would have preferred.
"It is so good to see you up and about," Goldenflower purred across the clearing to her daughter. But Firepaw did not respond to her, instead her eyes had been caught by a different tabby. For the briefest of heartbeats, Firepaw and Runningwind had been looking directly at each other. He had acknowledged her existence once again. But both young cats quickly broke the silent exchange off immediately.
On the way to the training hollow Firepaw noticed that none of the leaves were green anymore and bunches were beginning to fall to the forest floor, crunching underpaw. Not only did the forest feel different, but so did the apprentice's body. It ached and it ached heavily, all over. Every muscle in her body screamed both with stress from misuse and the urge to be used once more. She felt both like collapsing and running all the way across the territory.
Before she realized it, the bushy-furred clanmates were in the sandy hollow and Tigerclaw was lunging at his new apprentice. Claws sheathed, his huge paw had enough force to knock Firepaw over. Before he could immediately pin her down, she rolled away and, coming out of the roll, used her hindlegs to leap in the air. She fell back with her paws beneath her, pressing against the dark tabby fur along Tigerlaw's back as she landed atop of him. He instinctively reared up, flinging her back into the dust. As she scrambled to her paws, Firepaw felt a blow to her hindleg, the very one that had been taken by the fox when she saved Sandkit. The apprentice let out an unintentional yowl of pain as she fell back to the ground.
"Does it hurt too much to continue?" Tigerclaw asked with an even voice, but Firepaw knew that it was a sort of sneer, a challenge.
The deputy's daughter seized the moment her mentor took to taunt her to steady herself on her paws and lash her tail. Muscles tensed, she held his gaze as she replied, "No, I'm fine."
He only blinked at her before flicking an ear and turning to walk away, "Well you're certainly out of practice. We'll have to train everyday on top of your other duties in order to get caught up."
Not quite ready to give up, Firepaw bunched her muscles, ignoring the throbbing pain still pulsing in her hindleg, and threw herself at Tigerclaw. Her forelegs wrapped around his thick throat, while her hindpaws battered at his back. Surprised, it took him a split moment to roll over, crushing her beneath him a mere moment before they found themselves tussling in the hollow, kicking up dust and both full of energy.
The cats did not pull apart until the sun was falling from the sky, bathing them in evening light. Both warrior and apprentice stood, panting. Firepaw felt her body quivering, she had pushed it much farther than it had been prepared for, and she noticed Tigerclaw was looking at her differently than he had when they began. Perhaps he was pleased with his new apprentice, at least a little bit.
Firepaw felt pleased with herself.
She rather happily followed Tigerclaw back to the camp. They were both silent except for their breaths, vague clouds billowing from their muzzles. Back in camp, Firepaw padded to the entrance of the apprentice den and seated herself beside Lightningpaw, who was in the middle of consuming a small bird. He purred at her arrival, swallowing his mouthful before meowing, "So you're finally back, huh?"
Nodding, she replied, "My nest is still in there, right?"
"It may have become part of mine," Lightningpaw admitted, half-chuckling, and then he flicked an ear, "Do you want a bite?"
Firepaw felt her stomach rumble and realized she was experiencing a hunger that had not been inside her for at least a moon. Grateful, she slid to her belly beside her friend and took a chunk of the bird. No more than a heartbeat later did she regret it.
The clan was aware of her again; they were watching and whispering once more. In a way, she had rejoined them, but they did not know whether or not to trust her. The kits, Sandkit included, tried to come greet her—Firepaw used to enjoy playing with them outside the nursery—but Redtail stopped them and sent them back to their mothers. He glared at his eldest daughter only a moment before returning to Bluestar's side to discuss clan matters.
The deputy's daughter realized that the way her clanmates felt was legitimate. Sandkit could have been killed when Firepaw took her out into the forest and there was no way to explain the kit's words, that a she-cat had lured her toward the fox's den. On top of that, Firepaw had shown no zeal in returning to her duties. She hid in the makeshift nest given to her in hopes she would not have to face the clan again. She had been doing nothing while their lives had continued on. Feeding each other, caring for each other. She did not deserve the prey she now had to force herself to swallow.
"Are you all right?" Lightningpaw asked before taking another bite of avian.
Firepaw looked at the ground in front of her as she replied, "Yeah I'm fine, just tired."
He swiped his tongue around his pale muzzle. "Y' know, even with the extra moss, the den has been pretty cold since Leaf-fall has come. You wouldn't mind sharing the nest, would you? Instead of separating it into two again..."
"Sure, that's fine." Firepaw mewed. She took the exchange as an excuse to retreat into the den and seek comfort in the pile of moss. Lightningpaw joined her not long after, curling up beside his best friend.
Firepaw could feel her longer furs brush against his short ones, their body heat being exchanged and shared. As the tall tom drifted to sleep, he softly said, "Its good to have you back." Then his eyelids fell and he slipped into the depths of peaceful slumber.
The she-cat would not find the same rest as her companion. She would meet the white-tailed queen once more. This time, they were not observing any other forbidden situation, nor drowning in her own. They sat, facing each other, in a forest dark and gloomy, illuminated by a light not created from the moon or stars or anything Firepaw knew of.
"I've seen you so many times now," Firepaw meowed, "why is that?"
The queen simply answered, "Because I can help you attain exactly what you want."
"And what is that?" Firepaw retorted, "Because right now all I want is a new life!"
The queen's ears fell flat a moment before she sternly responded, "You can fix the one you have at present. I know you can, I can tell you how. I'll be there with you every step of the way."
"Why?" Firepaw asked, dumbfounded. She noticed that even though it was a dream, she felt out of energy.
"Have you ever heard the name Mapleshade?"
"No, why?"
"That is my name. I was banished from ThunderClan and my mate took another. Her offspring are now leader and deputy of RiverClan. While mine are...," her voice trailed away.
Firepaw felt her heart twist with upset at the memories of Mapleshade's kits. Not only did she experience that dream from the queen's perspective, but also as one of the kits. The emotions were the same and utterly unbearable.
Finally, Firepaw spoke, "So Crookedstar and Oakheart shouldn't be alive."
Mapleshade grimly meowed, "That is correct and neither-," but Firepaw had interrupted.
"Neither should their children, Bluestar's kits."
Amber gazes were locked with understanding and emotion. Firepaw did not know what to expect, but she knew Mapleshade was not lying to her; the queen truly would help her.