Prolouge

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It was the day before my 21st birthday that the idea came to me. The weather was blowing a bitter October wind and I was sitting on the window seat in my bedroom. I was sitting cross legged, resting my hands on my eight month gone baby bump and staring into the Scottish lowlands and down on Edinburgh. The house was peaceful except from the creaks and echoes that come with living in a big mansion, it was a perfect time to think and reflect. On this occasion, being so close to my birthday, I was thinking about how much had changed in the last three years. It seemed so funny that when I was eighteen I was totally fed up with my life, just waiting for something to happen to me. I was so negative towards the world, especially to my eccentric parents. Then when something did happen to me, I let it all happen in one dreamy blur, of course it was a perfect blur and I’m still living that dream. But because I’ve been so happy, I’ve never looked back, I just let everything pass me by and that makes me sad. I need to remember and savour what happened, so I can be grateful.

When I told him how I felt, he smiled and suggested I wrote about it. He said I should sit in front of my laptop and let it pour out. ‘Start from the beginning’ he said ‘remember how your new life began.’ So I did what he said, I recalled the events and it seemed so easy to write, the ideas rolled off me. I didn’t need to think of a storyline, I just needed to remember. It wasn’t perfectly written, I rambled on too much in places and the paragraphs were random and hard to keep up with. But I didn’t edit it or change it to sound better, I just left it. Because otherwise it wouldn’t have been told how it happened, it wouldn’t have been told how I saw it. It took me a long time to write it because, while I was writing about my life, I was still living one too. It was finished long after the baby was born; in fact I think Amelia was five years old when I remembered I still had a story to tell. But it is only at middle age I find myself reading it, unedited and full of spelling mistakes, I look back on how my life began.

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