my love as deep as the ocean - chaelisa

15. one day - chae

For the past week I've been living with Lisa and her family, and every single night I have cried myself to sleep in Lisa's arms - pathetic, right? Well, firstly, I obviously hate the fact that my parents hate me, and then the fact that Lisa has this loving and accepting, pretty much perfect family. Like every morning, her Dad has a full breakfast ready for us, and they all sit around the table to eat together. And then in the evening, it's the same, we all sit around and catch up with each other. In my house, I'd be lucky to see my parents once in a day. 

I am so grateful that Lisa's family are letting me stay with them, like eternally grateful, but it just makes me sad that my whole life I thought that my family life was normal, but looking back I really wish I had what Lisa has.

 Am I jealous? 

Of the people I'm living with?

That's so dumb. 

I drop my head on the table, sighing. It's currently 2AM and instead of staying in bed, awake, I decided to come downstairs and do some extra work for school that isn't compulsory - it's sad, but it's keeping me from crying so there's that.

"Why aren't you asleep?" I snap my head up to see Lisa standing in the doorway. 

"I-I was just doing some homework," I tell her, picking up my pen to continue doing work so that I don't have to look up at her. 

"Chaeng, we finished our homework together. What're you doing?" She sits on the chair on the opposite side off the table. She reaches over and takes the work I'm doing. "Romeo and Juliet? We had our final exams on that last week, why are you still doing work on this?"

"Because it's fun," I say, snatching my work back. "And it's romantic."

She takes the paper's back. "It doesn't mean you should be up at two in the morning writing an essay on it."

"Those exams were mock exams, Lisa, I'm just getting ahead of the game so I don't have to do as much work just before the real exams," I reply, taking the paper back again. 

"You can do that before school, or after school. But not at two in the morning," she reaches over to grab my hands. "Why are you up?"

And if it wasn't for the fact that she looks straight into my eyes I probably wouldn't of said anything, but I can't lie to those big, Bambi eyes. "I'd rather do this, than lie in bed and cry because my parents are dickheads, and I'm kind of lowkey jealous of your life."

"What?" She laughs softly. 

"This is so stupid," I sigh, rubbing my face roughly. "I was just comparing my life to yours, and my parents were really shit and my home life was kind of fucked up," I explain. "But you have these really great parents who want to spend time with you, and love you, and accept you."

"Oh," her shoulders slump and she pouts a little. "I guess I never thought about that, I just presumed you were sad because your parents..." she trails off, probably realising that I don't wanna think about that either.

"That too."

"Right, well you know my parents love you probably more than they love me, and my brother definitely likes you better than me," she smiles at me, a small laughter escaping her lips. The corners of my mouth can't help but lift at the little joke. "My mom has been telling me all week about how she wants to bake cookies with you, because I am useless at cooking."

"Cookie?!" I exclaim, scaring her a little - Chaeyoung without cookies is a mad Chaeyoung. "Why didn't you say anything? I love your Mom's cookies."

"Well, you were crying all week, I didn't know when to bring it up," she shrugs. "I thought it would make you miss your Mom," she says a little quieter.