Loved By Levi

Seventeen

Levi

It had been a long damn time since I'd actually sat down and had a drink because I wanted to, not because Matt had shoved it into my hand and told me to loosen up. Even then I usually drank standing up. Sitting there on that hard bar stool felt just plain wrong.

The muscles in my back were sore and tense from working out. Hunching over with my elbows propped on the bar made them hurt worse. The Coors Light sitting in front of me should have eased some of the tension, but it didn't. I fought back the urge to slam my fist down on the bartop's cool surface. As bad as I knew it was for me, I was pissed, and to top it off, I was drinking.

God, I was an idiot.

If I'd just kept my mouth shut and stuck it out with Matt for a little bit longer I wouldn't be in the situation I was in. Part of me wanted to run back to the recruiter's office and bang on the doors all night if I had to just to get someone to talk to me. Those recruiters were absolutely full of shit and I knew that, but it still would have done me good to hear somebody tell me I had a future waiting for me.

I almost punched the bar again. I was so tense my shoulders were starting to shake. That was when I knew I needed to get the hell out of there. I'd seen this before. I knew how it ended when people got mouthy and pissed and drunk all at the same time. It was never pretty.

Pulling a five out of my wallet, I slapped it on the bar and turned to walk out. My beer glass was still over half full.

Instead of drowning my sorrows in alcohol, I did the only thing I knew how to do. I ran. I'd thrown on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt when I got back to the house but thankfully had my running shoes on. If there was one thing in this world I knew I could count on, it was those babies.

Even though the weather had been fantastic for the last few weeks I realized about a mile in that this was the first run I'd taken outside since meeting with the recruiter. It felt damn good to be out. I started off at a sprint to burn off some steam before easing down into a jog as I hit the beach that was all-too-familiar by then. There was no way to even count the number of times I'd run the entire perimeter of that lake.

Usually I'd feel my chest puff with pride at that realization, but this time I just gritted my teeth and kept going. It wasn't like any of the work I'd done was actually getting me anywhere. Sure, I'd gone in and talked to the recruiter, but I still hadn't actually committed. And sure, my transformation had given me the confidence to go up and talk to Mylee, but I hadn't heard back from her in weeks. It didn't help that I'd never even replied to the text she sent me, but that was because I just didn't know how to. Plus, I had thousands of dollars of debt that went towards paying for classes I barely even went to and my roommate had all but kicked me out. Yup, I was in a lot of hot water.

I was, however, proud that instead of drinking it all away I'd found a constructive way to deal with my problems. Working out obviously hadn't done me any other favors but at least it kept me from becoming the sorry drunk I had great potential to be. That had to count for something.

There was a raging bonfire off in the distance as I rounded the far side of the lake. I knew I could have turned around and avoided all of the obviously drunk college students that were bound to get hurt with a fire that big, but I was on a roll. I could hear them hooping and hollering over the crackling fire even from a thousand yards away. I powered on, staying on the side closer to the water.

A lot of my anger and frustration had been burned off by that point and I was running on fumes by the time I got close enough to actually make out faces. The smoke from their stupid fire made my lungs burn and every stride had my muscles aching a little more. I closed my eyes for a second and drew in as much air as I could before running smack dab into another person.