Handcuffed Boss

13. The Secret

Marc

"I need to tell you something but I can't tell you here. It's not secure. Will you come with me?"

I waited for her to make up her mind and exhaled with relief when she did.

"Ok."

My fingers laced with hers. She didn't resist so I took that as a good sign as we left the rundown motel room.

"Find us somewhere private to talk Nigel."

He nodded and helped Mia into the car. I got in after her. We drove for a long time in silence, which I used to gather my thoughts. How was I going to explain to Mia about what I'd done?

Nigel parked the car close to a stream in a deserted area I wasn't entirely sure was safe, but it was private so I didn't complain. After helping Mia out of the car we walked away and out of Nigel's hearing range.

We stood facing each other. She didn't say anything but waited expectantly.

"You asked me before why that date was circled on my calendar."

She only nodded.

"My best friend died on that day."

"I'm sorry."

I stopped her.

"Listen to the entire story before you say anything. You might feel differently after hearing the entire thing. Eric was my best friend but he was also my lover. We'd been inseparable since we were teenagers in boarding school. He was the one constant figure in my life, and Madeline, she was the devil. She was the woman who made me commit a grave sin that I can never repent for. She came into our lives holding a grudge and for more than a year she plotted and schemed to take me down. I put up with everything because I liked her. I really did. I'd thought about making her ours, mine and Eric's. However she had other ideas. She manipulated him, pitted us against each other, got pregnant for him and then ended up marrying him, and even then, even when Eric chose her over me I still would have let it go. I would have let it all go."

It was in that moment as I was telling Mia my biggest secret that I decided I wanted her to know it all. This wasn't the place. I needed us to be in a comfortable place.

"Maybe I shouldn't be doing this here."

"What happened? Tell me."

She grabbed my hand before I could walk away.

"I don't care what you did."

"You're saying that now. You don't know the half of it."

I continued anyway. I told her everything. I didn't leave anything out of the story. She stood there and she listened to it all. When I got to the end, I had to will myself to say the words.

"I had Madeline killed after she threatened to use her power as his wife to lock him away. I didn't know what else to do, but I didn't know Eric was in the car with her. God I didn't know. I wouldn't have ordered it if I'd known. I ended up killing three people that night; Madeline, my best friend and his unborn child. I have to live with that guilt for the rest of my life. That's why that date is circled on my calendar. It's a reminder of what I did."

"I have questions."

She isn't running, screaming or calling me a murderer. I hope that was a good sign.

"What would you like to know?"

"Not here. I want to know everything. There are so many questions I want to ask, but not here. Let's go back."

"Ok."

Her reaction wasn't what I'd been expecting. To be honest I didn't know what to expect. I've never had it easy with women. Never. I'd long given up on understanding them. Now I just live each day and take them as they come.