Recently, I have begun an obsession with the novelizations of popular movies, especially superhero movies. I don’t like movies very much, because I want a greater depth into the characters. I want to know what’s going through their heads, what’s motivating them, and, in the case of superhero novels, what they think of their new powers. However, there is a glaring problem I’ve found with novelizations—they seem to copy and paste from the script. No new information is given. An emotional scene is jarred by lack of depth.
In short, they are telling, not showing.
If you want to see what I’m talking about, check out The Dark Knight Rises by Greg Cox. Not much new information is given, the thoughts of the characters are “Good thing I brought a suit” “Whoa, did he say what I think he said?” It’s basic, simple sentences. While this worked for the movie, since the actors were able to deliver the lines however they needed to and use their facial expressions to convey the correct tone for the line, it doesn’t work in a printed media. Remember, your readers are not psychic. A book is a result of the author’s imagination and the reader’s working in harmony. Don’t give the bare minimum of the characters reactions. Show us what they are feeling.
Look at this sentence: “Can I see you tonight?” Harry said to Sue.
The only thing the reader has to work with is the printed page. For all we know, Harry could be saying this with a weary tone, watching another woman cross the street behind Sue, or he could be saying it intently, his eyes on her face, his whole body yearning forward. I didn’t change the dialogue at all, but those changed the whole meaning of “Can I see you tonight?” didn’t they?
70% of communication is nonverbal. Even with the addition of what Harry is doing, looking at Sue intently or watching the other woman, we are still missing the emotional level of the words themselves, since this is printed word and not a person saying the lines. Bringing us back to the novelizations, how we should convey emotion through page.
Which of these two examples get the point across of Harry’s anger?
“I’m tired of being human!” Harry yelled, angry beyond belief.
“THEN—I—DON’T—WANT—TO—BE—HUMAN!” Harry roared, and he seized one of the delicate silver instruments from the spindle-legged table beside him and flung it across the room. It shattered into a hundred tiny pieces against the wall.” (Order of the Phoenix, J.K. Rowling, p 824)
I call it hamming it up. You want to keep it realistic, so you must do it with a light hand. But show us what’s going on in your character’s head. Your readers will thank you.
Whew! Lots of posts about Show vs Tell! Next up is a change of pace. Keep writing everyone!
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Writers: Tools of the Trade
Non-FictionA simple, easy to understand tool to help improve your writing. This is more aimed towards those who want to make something of themselves by writing, rather than a just how-to write on Wattpad. Note: This was originally published in 2013.
