Freshmen Rules

Keep on Trying

Chapter 5: Keep on Trying

Lionel Logue: Why should I waste my time listening to you?

King George VI: Because I have a right to be heard! I have a voice!

-The King's Speech

My all time favorite movie. My idol. Yes, he was my inspiration. King George VI was my favorite character. He was a prince who has lived with a stuttering mouth and a creepy voice forever. His mouth shaked of fear everytime he tried to speak. Later on, he had to take the kingdom and hold his brother's king position. He was a charismatic man, full of faith and hope. He didn't run away from this terrible nightmare he faced. He was determined to crush it hard like squeezing a big cockroach down to the ground. And at the big speech that was supposed to be heard by the entire kingdom, he nailed it. Everything he said had a meaning. It all meant something, and the best part, it all went fluently down to his throat with a clear voice. His British accent made me love him even more and try to imitate him every time I rehearsed for the HMUN conference.

The HMUN conference wasn't really a big thing, but we made it one. Actually, it was going to be held in the other school that belonged to MK, too. The difference is that we all considered it a rivalry between two schools and wanted to win. I only went for the experience as it will help me a lot when doing my big speeches later in the MUN.

So what really happened there?

HMUN rehearsals were being done after school. Day after day, we were taught some new techniques about speech deliveries, along with the MUN training sessions.

MUN training sessions were quite fun actually. Random activities were always done by us students to learn something new everyday.

Mrs. Gail wanted us to be 100% ready, so she made a simulating small conference that can let us practice more clearly. It was 4:00 PM and I didn't even have the chance to eat. Silly Natalie ordered some food and forgot me. She went by: "Here, take a piece of fries if you like to." I couldn't do anything about it, but laugh hysterically, and continue my rehearsal on an empty stomach.

In HMUN, I was the delegate of Poland speaking for handicapped children's right in learning. Ironic huh? As if fate did that on purpose and knew that my stuttering is all part of this. It almost felt as IF I was speaking on behalf of myself.

I wanted to make sure I nailed my speech to the limited one minute time. So I took out my phone and recorded it alone. It was 45 seconds! Just perfect and almost 15 seconds for any questions too! I ran out on stage, hugged the podium and told Mrs. Gail: "I'll go first please!"

"Well, as long as you sound so confident. You can start." I fixed the microphone and let my throat do all the talking. With Jane starting the timer, I wished to break a leg. Words were coming out of my mouth so quickly, as if they were dozens of girls screaming for the last Zara jeans in a shopping rush hour. I stuttered at some, stumbled at the others, and ate a bit vowels. I failed. I looked at the timer and it showed: 1:30. Most of the candidates showed complete silence, and Mrs Gail was happy enough to hear me. "Good job Raghid! Rehearse more in front of the mirror so you can nail that one minute tomorrow in the big day!" I nodded my head then took my seat and heard the rest.

Grief and sadness were tipping. I needed to burst out. How did I speak so clearly in the interview where I couldn't utter a single clear word here? Is it really possible I didn't practice much? Are 2 daily hours of practice not enough? I was in a complete mess and confusion as I had to pour down on something. "May I be excused please?" I asked, didn't even wait for the answer and ran away to the hallway; tears were about to start driving down my face without even asking.

I heard someone coming so I tried hiding my tears. "Raghid! Speak everything out! Yalla! Do what I'm saying!" Natalie and her weird moments. "Everything's fine, just calm down and leave me alone."

"Alone? Hunny we aren't in the 20th century anymore. I know what's wrong, and all I need from you is to believe in yourself, believe in your abilities, and believe that you can make it.

Your stuttering isn't a big thing. Believe me. Did stuttering block you from reaching this far? No and it'll never ever be." I couldn't take it much longer and I let out everything that was inside me: "Do you think that's easy? Do you know how many problems I face daily? I face a lot of them. I can't just buy anything from the grocery store without stumbling once or twice. I can't just get my favorite jacket then ask for the price without even BLOODY STAMMER! It's hard. It's mean. And it's unfair."

"Go wash your face. I hate to see you like that."

"I don't want to; maybe I like to see myself like that."

As weird as that sounded, we laughed even though we were in a sensational moment. I couldn't but notice that she made me smile in hard times like that. She really did and I never expected that as a few people managed to do that in my life.

We went back to the library, as if nothing happened. She started her lame jokes to cheer me up and I laughed at them vigorously. I knew it that I was going to achieve something in the final conference tomorrow, after this random funny moment.

Mrs. Gail was glad to hear the rest of the delegates and their opinions toward each and every different topic written and said: "I'm proud of you all, now make yourselves proud and go lead them tomorrow."

UN was all about leadership. It was turning around it from the beginning. I had high hopes on winning it. I was very confident about. I felt as if my claws were about to snatch and grab that shiny opportunity. But, it wasn't only about winning, it was the message that MUN wanted to teach us from the first place:

A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way. - John C. Maxwell