Herban Poetry II

We Don't Get to Choose Who We Love

We don't get to choose who we love.
But God, I wish that we did.
If I could, I wouldn't have chosen persecution,
ridicule, a lifetime of self-deprication,
snide comments from the mouths of strangers
and whispered daggers from my loved ones.

I wouldn't have chosen to leave my parents in disgust.
To strip them of the chance to meet their imagined grandchildren,
while simultaneously killing the child that they thought that they knew.
I wouldn't have chosen to lose my friends
and gain a multitude of people who hate me,
for something I can't change.

I wouldn't have chosen to hide who I am.
All the excuses and plastic pretending,
awkward blind dates that we both knew weren't going anywhere,
uncomfortably holding a hand that never seemed to fit,
and kisses upon lips that held no spark.
I wouldn't have chosen to be born this way.

But we don't get to choose who we love.

And it pains me to think,
As I sit, gazing from afar,
of all the desire, passion, and love raging inside of me,
in a way I've never felt before.

It pains me to know,
without any doubt, that I'm looking at my soulmate,
the one person in the world that can make me feel like
no one else.

It hurts to rehearse
the words that I'll never say,
that wil explain how beautiful, and perfect,
and wrong and disgusting it all is.

It hurts to be alive,
Knowing my fantasies will never come true,
because we don't get to choose who we love.
Society does.

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**WILL BE MOVED EXCLUSIVELY TO PATREON IN A WEEK**

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