It's all me

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Kiefer



Pwede pala yun no? Yung isang iglap yung sobrang saya mong buhay mawawala. Parang bula. Parang hangin.



She went away. Brought my heart with her, took my life away.



And the only thing I could do is stare at her. Wait for her to finish packing up, because truth be told it's all my fault.



My Mom and Dad, my whole family found out what happened. I received the first slap from my Mom, a punch from my brother. Dani walked out on me crying and Dad for the first time looked at me and without words he told me....



"I'm ashamed of you."



I am ashamed of myself. Ang gago ko. I deserve everything they're throwing at me. I'm the worst.



I have the best wife and the most beautiful kid. My family has a bright future ahead of us and I ruined everything. Just because I was vulnerable. Just because I am not worthy enough to be trusted.



I lost everything.



It has been month, living alone. Up until now my family is not talking to me. My sibs hate me, Dad's acting like I don't exist at all and Mom... Well she's Mom, although I know she hates what I did she loves me still.



My manager told me to take a vacation. Take a time off. Lahat kasi ng tao galit sakin. There's this one time, sa mismong araw na iniwan ako ng mag-ina ko. I'm trying my best to be distracted kahit sobrang hirap at sakit. Sabi ko ilalabas ko ang lahat sa game na ito pero hindi pa ko nakakatungtong ng court everyone's eyes on me. Kulang na lang balatan nila ako.



Their stares are judging and I can't blame them.



Warm up. I heard boo's and all those bashing. Hindi lang pala sa social media ako hit list. May mga bumato pa sakin. Yumuko ako hanggang sa sinabi ko kanila Coach na I'll sit out.



Bumalik ako sa dug out bagsak ang mga balikat. Umupo ako sa gilid ng mga lockers, yumuko. Nilagay ko ang ulo ko sa pagitan ng mga hita ko.



"I lost Mika. Issa. My family. Everyone. You're so stupid Kiefer! Ang tanga mo! Putangina! Ang tanga mo!!" Sumigaw ako at sinuntok ang pader sa tabi ko. Wala akong pakialam kung dumudugo na ang kamao ko. This pain is no match to what I am feeling right now.



"Kiefer!!" Agad na dinaluhan ako ni Tin. Umiiyak siya. Sorry siya ng sorry sa akin dahil kung hindi daw dahil sa kanya hindi mangyayayari ang lahat ng ito.

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