The Girlfriend Experience

Chapter 7: No one else

 Rhiannon

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It’s 8 P.M.

I’m staring at myself in the mirror as I brush my hair which extends down to the middle of my back. After a few strokes I put it up in a messy bun. I take one good hard look at my despondent face in the mirror before turning away and turning off the lights.

The swelling had gone down….somewhat. I haven’t cried since I left from visiting my Grandmother this afternoon. I think it’s the most amount of time I’ve gone without crying since the catastrophe happened. I know it’s only a matter of time before I start crying again.

Everything reminds me of him. My mom paid my little sister to box up all the things he’s ever given me while we were together and move it out of my sight but that didn’t do much of anything. She could box up the material things but she couldn’t remove the memories. The past couldn’t be undone; it was all over me and inside me, engulfing me.

The way we once were was still fresh in my mind like vivid photographs. The long nights we spent over the phone, talking and eventually falling asleep. The times we’ve gone out on dates, things were simple but filled with so much love. One time we camped outside his house and watched the stars through a telescope, it was magical.

There were the countless times we made love, all the time I gave myself to him, heart, body and soul. I miss the way he would take me gently into his arms and look down at me with so much love in his eyes, it was pure and beautiful. It was so easy to get lost into something that you thought would never go away. I thought we would last forever but I guess I was very wrong.

The tears found their way back into my eyes and finding some inner strength I quickly wipe them away. I crawl into my bed and close my eyes relishing in the softness of my sheets and pillows. There’s no better feeling than being on my bed right now. As my eyelids begin to flutter close my door swings open and I don’t need to look up to see the intruders.

“Don’t tell me you’re asleep already, it’s only eight o’clock.” Clara says.

“Rhiannon,” Kylie says in a soothing voice. “Wake up.”

My friends indubitably have the worst timing.

I roll over to face them. Clara is already sitting on the bed playing with my hair.

“We come bearing gifts,” Kylie says. In front of her she’s holding a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream. She reaches into her purse and pulls out one of those sets of plastic ware wrapped inside a bag that you usually get when you go order Chinese food.

“Want some?” She asks removing the top to reveal the ice cream.

She knows it my weakness and she’s teasing me with it. I prop myself up and pry it out of her hands. The first taste is heavenly. I close my eyes briefly to enjoy it, loving the way it just melts right off my tongue down my throat. It feels like I haven’t had ice-cream in ages.

“I knew it would do the trick,” Kylie says planting herself down next to me. “We also brought this__” she pulls out a DVD from her bag. It’s the first Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants , our favorite movie.

“So you guys came over to give me ice-cream and a movie?”

“No,” Clara answers. “We came to check up on you and by the looks of it……..”

“You’ve been crying again.” Kylie finishes.

“I’m fine,” I lie but they don’t buy it for a second. My friends know me better than that. I don’t want to start crying again so I smile. It’s forced and fake, so fake that my face hurts but I do it anyways trying to convince them.