Shadows Beneath

As a young boy growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, life was fairly normal. I didn't mind school at all. All of my friends from my neighborhood were there, and all the same age pretty much. I was the quiet one of the group, but excelled at school and sports, unlike the others. I wasn't one to boast about things. I wore my pride on the inside. I learned that from my mother.

My parents divorced when I was a young boy, around six I believe. I lived with my mother and step father and older brother. It was a small house, but big enough for us. Three small bedrooms upstairs and a full basement. My mother was young, mid twenties working a lot of hours as a dance instructor. She taught all ages. Ballet, tap, jazz, point, you name it, she taught it, and was damn good at it. She was so humble about it. That's where I got it from. She always had time to cook and clean every night as well. I don't know how she did it, but she was amazing.

Then there was my step father. He was a smallish man. About 5'8" I'd say with a stocky frame that made him look bigger than he really was. He was a hard working guy that had come out of a divorce himself not long before. He was a drinker, always enjoyed a few beers after work, a few during his evening bowling league, and a few more when he got home. He'd constantly talk about random things, but my brother and I would usually ignore him since he didn't really know what he was taking about anyways. My mom would just quietly laugh in the background. There was only one instance where I had to get in his face and tell him to back the fuck off of my mom. He was drunk and pushing her, and I had no tolerance for that.

It never happened again.

In general this is how things went around the house. My mom did all the cooking and cleaning, my brother and I did most of the outdoor work and helped my mom if she needed it. My step father, well he didn't do much around the house. He gave the orders to an extent. Who really wanted to argue with a drunk anyways? Not me.

So we just did as we were told and kept quiet. I didn't really mind. When the work was done my brother and I would go out and play until dinner so we didn't have to stay around him. Can you blame us? We were young and only cared about having fun.

There were days when things seemed to be better, weekends mostly. My brother and I would go bowl in our junior leagues while my mom worked and step father sat home. Occasionally he'd come up there if he didn't drink too much the night before. He did coach us to the point that we no longer needed it. We both dominated our leagues and pretty much made everyone else look silly. That's one thing he did do that I respect him for. After bowling we'd maybe go to the pond and do some fishing or we'd find some friends and get a football game together. It didn't matter if it was winter or summer, we still did the same things.

We enjoyed them. We were good at them and could forget about everything else in the world going on. Eventually, we would find our way home and have dinner, maybe toss the football around some more, and go to bed. Life was simple.

My mom and step father did what they had to do to keep food on the table and the house and bills paid. The only extra money we had went to bowling, cigarettes, and alcohol. As far as toys and fun things, not much existed. My brother and I did paper routes as kids to pay for things we wanted. I was taught responsibility at a young age because of it.

We bought what we wanted then because it was ours, we earned it. It made me feel good and I learned the value a dollar at a young age because of it. We both enjoyed collecting sports cards and video games. The arcade at the bowling alley was where we deposited most of our money! I found a bicycle in the forest next to the grocery store someone had left there to rot. I brought it home. I took some of my hard earned money up to the hardware store in town and bought the things I needed to get it to work, a tube, tire, and chain. I had enough money left for a can of spray paint. Within hours I had practically a brand new bike which lasted throughout my childhood. It took me everywhere. Paper route was easier, going to the bowling alley was easier, meeting friends was easier. That bike was my pride and joy. I found it, fixed it, rode it, and maintained all on my own. It was all mine, every bit of it.

Nothing was ever really given to me. Most things I had as a kid were earned. I'm glad that I didn't have everything given to me.

Nobody could label me as spoiled. The only label I ever had was that my family didn't have much money. Those that labeled me I obviously didn't care for at all so it didn't phase me at all. I was too tough for that. I never let words get to me, especially disrespectful words. I usually had some smart ass comment to reply back with. That would usually shut those mean kids up. I was the kid that never really said much so when I did speak, I was heard.

I knew my parents did everything they could for us. I wasn't about to let some stupid ass kid spout off at the mouth that didn't even know me, disrespect my parents for not being able to buy me name brand clothes. I only got in one fight as a kid, but it didn't get far before my brother stepped in and beat the shit out of the instigator. He was doing his duty as the older brother, protecting me. I was bigger than him, but it's just a mental thing with siblings. We had our little fights as brothers do, but nothing serious. It's normal, brothers fight.

As we got older , into the high school years, things changed a little. My parents stayed the same with work and routine things. I was working at the bowling alley now along with my brother. Now it was about much more. It was saving money to buy cars, clothes, bowling equipment, and after the cars, it was car insurance. It was chasing girls. Having money to go out on dates, even though I never really had time for it. I was playing football and running track now. With school, work, and after school activities, it didn't give me much time for women. The only women I really ever got to spend time with were the ones in the Playboy Magazine that my step dad had in his dresser drawer. I swear I memorized that thing. I also was given an adult movie when there was a bachelor party at the bowling alley one night. I watched that every time I had a chance.

Juggs of Joy it was called. I often would end up in the bathroom with a jar of vaseline after a few minutes of watching. I was a teenage boy with tons of hormones and wanted to do my thing. Lift weights and fuck everything with legs and tits. That's what I wanted. I lifted weights, but fucking everything didn't really happen. I was still quite shy and that didn't impress the girls very much.

I had one that thought it was cute how big and strong I was and yet so shy. We went out to a movie. I was the jeans and tee shirt type. She had a short black skirt with fishnet stockings. Instant erection when I saw her. We sat down towards the back. Did the whole making out thing and holding hands and caressing arms. Pretty tame considering what I had seen in the adult movie. Since this was what seemed like never ending and not progressing, I took matters into my own hands. I slid my hand up her skirt along her thighs. She stopped kissing and let out a soft "oh" sound as my fingers found her wetness. I looked her in the eyes and she sat there with her mouth open, trying to stare at me while I rubbed her swollen throbbing clit. Her breathing, heavier and louder with every second I continued. I took her hand and set it down on my rock hard cock. She squeezed and looked at me and just said one word, "fuck". All of the sudden she pulled back and tightened her legs and demanded we stop. I was like, "what the hell". She then informed me of how she can't do it. She wanted to, but just can't. She had just had a baby not long ago. She was 15. She was scared, so I respected her and went our separate ways. I never saw her again.

That was my only experience I had throughout high school. This was just the beginning. My sexual appetite has been realized. I was a good looking guy, builty, smart, and my personality was starting to come out.