(Sequel to Two Gangs and a Golden Girl)
***
"If you even think about touching me, I will literally rip off your arm," I growl when Xavier prowls closer. He doesn't stop. His poison green eyes drill into mine.
"I will have you, Marigold, and we will...
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I let my hands fiddle while I wait nervously on the park bench. I hate waiting. I absolutely hate it. But this is something I must do. For the first time, I'll be doing something that I hope is the right thing for me.
I hear the high pitched squeal of a little girl and watch as a family walks past to go find the perfect picnic spot. They look so happy.
See, I didn't know it was supposed to be like that. I didn't know families was supposed to be happy and warm and welcoming. When you grow up knowing only one thing, it's hard to imagine it's not how it should be.
For example, I thought it was normal for your mom to tell you the only way to get ahead in life is to be pretty and to get rich guys. Something my dad wasn't. And I thought it was an average household if your stepfather touches you on places nobody sees since you were three. And I thought I should just grow some balls when my brother and his friends were a little too drunk and came into my bedroom one night.
My brother does care for me. Or rather, since that night he cares about my body. And I thought that meant he'd keep me safe, but from himself was not one of the options.
I figured my only way to get out was either to get a guy or get in a gang.
So, when a particularly sunny Amber Marigold came to town and she immediately got both of those things, I couldn't understand. Me, who needed to get away so desperately could never get a guy or be accepted into a gang as a real member.
I could tell Amber was just nice - which didn't help the temper.
When I close my eyes, I dream of a different life. One where I wasn't molded into a bitchy piece of trash. A life where I had a mom and dad that loved me, or at least liked me. And when I open my eyes, I always find myself on the brink of tears, because it's too late. I'm already a piece of shit. I can't control my outbursts. I want to hurt people, like I was hurt.
And I want to walk over people, because my back is breaking at everyone walking over me.
I'm not stupid. I know people look at me and see a desperate slut. A mean girl that deserves what she got in life. I deserve to have a mother that hates me. I deserve to have a stepdad that touches me to the point that I hate my own body. I deserve a brother that makes me scared to go to bed every night.
