This part was written in friendly and very funny cooperation with my friend Vanessa :D (To find here under the beautiful name LyrasLullaby https://www.wattpad.com/user/LyrasLullaby )
Group: Monsterhunters
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Members: Donegan, Gracious, Fletcher
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Gracious: Hey, do you remember that we wanted to write a children's book?
Donegan: Of course!
Gracious: Because I got an idea on how we could make it more... You know, child-friendly.
Donegan: I liked the main idea. Kids love this "where's Waldo" thing.
Fletcher: "Where's Waldo", yes. Chainsaw murderer, no.
Donegan: Why not?
Fletcher: Are you crazy? Children shouldn't see so much blood and gore!
Gracious: That's what I thought of as well. What if we make them blue and say it were some aliens or fantasy people instead of humans?
Fletcher: I don't think that's any better... If they still get hunted down by the chainsaw murderer.
Donegan: Well I like that idea. It's not as serious as before. Besides, children like fantasy people better than real people.
Fletcher: That doesn't change the fact that they are hunted by a CHAINSAW MURDERER. That's not good for kids in any way!
Gracious: It's not good for us as well but it's just a book. It's not real.
Donegan: Right. It just encourages to use your own fantasy.
Fletcher: And causes heavy nightmares. Which publisher would buy that from you?
Gracious: Oh, I know someone...
Fletcher: You can't do that! Did you ever hear of youth protection and age limits?
Donegan: Youth protection?
Gracious: Age limits?
Fletcher: Are you serious?!
Gracious: Haha, no. Of course not. We not what that is.
Donegan: Exactly. But books don't get any PG rating, that's only for movies and games.
Fletcher: So you want to risk your readers mental health?
Donegan: That got nothing to do with it.
Fletcher: ... It does?! Why don't you understand? Chainsaw murderers aren't a topic for children!
Gracious: But if we change it so that...
Fletcher: No!
Gracious: ... That it's not a chainsaw murderer?
Donegan: Rather?
Gracious: A blood thirsty beast! Like the one we saw in that village before we got to Tokyo, do you remember?
Fletcher: No.
Donegan: Ah, I remember! That was damn huge.
Fletcher: No.
Gracious: As I say! And damn blood thirsty.
Fletcher: No.
Donegan: It was. That would be an interesting protagonist.
Fletcher: No.
Gracious: And it would just be another fantasy figure for the children since they don't know about real magic and real monsters.
Fletcher: NO. Stop it!
Donegan: What?
Fletcher: First: You ignore me. Second: You can't put blood and monsters and dead guys in children's books!
Gracious: ... Dead, not gender specific people, hehe.
Fletcher: Huh?
Donegan: Oh, you're talking about the Dead Men!
Gracious: Well, since Valkyrie is with them they need a new name. They should move with the times.
Donegan:I don't know. But I can imagine they already had this discussion...
Fletcher: That's irrelevant! I gotta prevent you from publishing such a gruesome book.
Donegan: :c
Gracious: :C
Fletcher: Make it less bloody or it will be a flop. That I can promise.
Donegan: Do you really think so...?
Gracious: But we'd have to throw away our whole concept!
Donegan: Our unique selling point!
Fletcher: I think you should talk about that with a real author...
Donegan: GORDON
Gracious: GORDON
Donegan: MY FAVOURITE AUTHOR
Gracious: MINE AS WELL
Fletcher: .... For god's sake.
YOU ARE READING
Incorrect SP Text Messages (ENG)
HumorThis is the translation of my last "story", featuring some of the most hilarious text messages of the Skulduggery Pleasant characters :D Enjoy! (I translated it myself so please don't look at mistakes ;D)
