Friends Don't Kiss, Do They?

Chapter 6

I closed my laptop and then wiped the tears from my eyes. I had to stop crying before Mom comes in to make sure I was awake and ready for school. I couldn't let her see the tears. She will want to know why I'm crying first thing in the morning. I shouldn't have gone on Facebook the first thing when I got up this morning. All I wanted was to check my notifications and any messages from my friends, but instead I find a nasty inbox message from Samantha.

I should tell Mom about Samantha, but I'm afraid to. She is unaware about the constant bullying I get from her. She will be all over the school, speaking to our principal Mr Maxwell and to Mrs O'Hare. And even if I do tell Mom, Samantha will deny everything, making me sound like the bad person.

I get out of bed and grab some fresh clothes from the wardrobe before heading into the bathroom for a shower.

Once in the bathroom, I lock the door and strip down. I stare at my reflection in the mirror and wondered why Samantha hated me so much. Was she really jealous of me, like Abby had said? I've never done anything to her besides wanting to join the cheerleading team. I wasn't the only victim of her bullying. Bailey sometimes is bullied by her, but I don't think she gets tease as much as I do. I was different. I knew it was because of my skin type, and of course there's Matt. She enjoyed rubbing it in that Matt and I will always remain as friends and be nothing more. I also wasn't the skinniest girl in the team. I was a size twelve while the others were size eight.

I get out the scale from underneath the cupboard and step onto it. I watch the numbers add up quickly until it reaches 143.3 pounds. I stare at it in horror and wonder how I'd let myself get to that size. It's no wonder Samantha and my team mates tease me about my weight.

I put the scale back and then hop into the shower. My tears flow down my cheeks, mixing with the warm shower water as I stand there.

Is this is why Matt doesn't see me more than a friend because of my weight. None of the girls has one night stands with are fat. They are all stick figures.

I walk back to my room to change for school. I put on a skirt, but when I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror, I felt disgusted with myself for wanting to wear this. At the back of my head I could hear Samantha and her friends laughing at me as the skirt showed off my unattractive figure. Not wanting to hear Samantha's nasty words in my head, I quickly took off the skirt and shoved it back inside my wardrobe. I stand there for a moment wondering what wouldn't make me look so big.

Searching through my chest of draws, I settle on a pair of black jeans to go with the lilac shirt with a butterfly printed on it that I was wearing. But even when I glance at myself in the mirror I still felt disgusted with what I was wearing. How can I look perfect for Samantha and make Matt notice me?

Before I could decide to change out of my clothes again, a knock came from my door. Mom's voice follows, telling me to hurry up and have breakfast before she leaves with my brothers for school. I took one more look at my reflection before walking out of my room. I try not to cry as I walk to the kitchen. I didn't want Mom to start asking me questions.

The hallway is filled with the smell of pancakes that Mom put together for my brothers and me. Timmy and Tommy were sitting at the table, munching away. Mom was putting together a coffee before she sat down to eat. My stomach grumble from the smell of the pancakes and I was about to grab one from the plate in the middle of the table when I stop myself. A voice inside my head tells me that if I was to eat it, I will put on weight, and that wasn't going to make me feel any better than what I already do.

I grab an apple from the fridge instead. Mom looks at me surprised when I sit down at the table.

"You aren't having any pancakes this morning, sweetie?" Mom asks me.