Our Love Will Remain - The story after Mockingjay

Chapter 18

I love making love to Peeta. I love everything from his sweet gentle kisses to his rough hands holding me tight against him. I think Peeta feels the same way that I do, because he moans as much as me.

We are now laying on the bed, still tangled in each other, watching the sun go up in the window. Or I am watching the sun go up, Peeta is still sleeping. I feel his breaths in my ear, and I stroke his blond, curly hair. I love his hair. He says he loves my hair too, although I don't really understand why. It's just long and dark and uninteresting. But I guess Peeta likes it anyway. I feel him stir a little, and I look at him. He has just opened his eyes and looks at me, but he doesn't move. I don't either. Peeta's hand slides down to my abdomen, and he starts stroking it. His other hand is playing with my hair. I turn to face him and then come closer, so close that our bodies are touching from head to toe. I put my arms around his chest and we lay there for a while, enjoying the moment. Then, after a while, we hear a slight knock on the door.

"It's Annie. Can I come in?" she asks. I look at Peeta. He nods and pulls the sheets up a little. I kiss him quickly before answering:

"Sure, Annie. It's open."

Annie opens the door and smiles a little. She sees our positions and that we are both naked, she doesn't see any straps on my shoulders. I pull the sheets a little more up and Peeta puts an arm around my waist.

"Oh, um, sorry for disturbing you, but breakfast is ready if you would like to join us." she says.

"We'll be down soon." Peeta says. Annie nods and walks out the room. When I am sure she can't hear us I burst out in a laugh. I bury my face in the pillow and laugh my lungs out. Peeta puts his hand on my bare back.

"What's so funny?" he asks, and I can hear he is smiling. I continue to laugh a little more, but then sit up, revealing my chest. I don't care about that. Besides, only Peeta is here now and he has seen it a million times. And I know that he is enjoying it. I laugh a little at the thought of that. I go closer to Peeta.

"Annie just came in and I know she knew what we have been doing, but I didn't blush. I didn't even get much embarassed. A first!" I outburst and crash my lips onto Peeta's. He kisses me back, but soon breaks away to hear more.

"But why did you start laughing so much. Is it really that funny?" he asks, raising his eyebrows and smiling a little.

"Well, I guess my hormones thought it was really funny." I say. I'm in a really good mood today. Poor Peeta. I don't think he is going to get much sleep tonight either. I just can't help myself. I'm just really frisky today.

"Oh, yeah?" Peeta says, and pulls me close to him and gives me a kiss. I break away, though that's what I want least right now. I have to feed myself and our daughter.

"I have to eat so that I can give birth to a healthy and well-fed baby." I say, getting up. Peeta gets up too and we dress in comfy clothes, putting our swimsuits under them just as yesterday. Then we go down to the dining room hand in hand. When Haymitch sees us he says to me:

"Don't deny it this time, sweetheart, I heard you." he says. Well NOW I blush. We should try to be a little more quiet next time, we aren't in our own house, after all. Peeta just laughs.

"Well, Katniss got a little too excited." he says. What did he just say!? I slap his shoulder.

"Like you didn't, too." I say, and Peeta smiles.

"I never said I didn't." he says and kisses me. I look at the kids, and they look confused. Whew. I don't think they understood that. I look at Gale. His eyebrows are raised and he is holding his wife's waist. I hug Peeta.

"Okay now I really have to eat something." I say as my stomach growls. Peeta picks up different things from the table, the breakfast consists of about the same things as yesterday. Peeta feeds me, he knows that if I would feed myself I would eat too fast and I would end up with a terrible stomachache. I feel so thankful for him taking care of me when I'm pregnant, I don't know how I would handle it if he wouldn't be here. I say this to him, and he grabs my wrists.

"Katniss, I would never leave you. You know that. As long as you want me here, I'll stay with you." he says. Now it's my turn to grab his wrists.

"Peeta, I want you to stay with me forever, until death do us part." I say, quoting the wedding vow. He nods, and then his eyes float away. I recongize that look anywhere. He's having a flashback.

"Katniss...please...I don't want to hurt you." he says slowly. I have learned not to obey. Everybody is staring at us right now. I concentrate only on Peeta. I grab his wrists and go and sit with my knees on his thighs. He is staring at something I can't see, his eyes floating away from reality.

"I-I died in the Quell, but Finnick saved me, real or not real?" he says with a shivering voice. I sigh. He really did die, but Finnick saved him. I shiver at the memory. I was so scared to lose him.

"Real." I say with a stable voice.

"You tried to kill me during the Games, real or not real?" he says. I grab his wrists tighter. I didn't try to kill him, but I hurt him really badly after those games. Mentally.

"Not real." I say, and he lets out a sigh of relief. I see his eyes return and a few tears escaping from the corners. I let go of his wrists and hug him tight. This was a tough flashback, I can tell. It is not often he starts crying afterwards, but if the memories that return are especially painful memories, that happens. He starts sobbing into my shoulder. I would take all pain off him and move it to me now if I could. He appears so vulnerable and weak that I soothe him as much as I can. He always does that for me, so I don't hesitate a second. I rub his back, whisper soothing words in his ear and just let him cry. The others look compassionately at us. I sit in Peeta's lap until he stops crying, his eyes all red and puffy. I stroke his cheek gently and kiss him.

"I-I'm s-so..." he begins. I interrupt him.

"I love you, Peeta. This isn't your fault." I say, hugging him tight. He hugs me back. "You know, I think you should take a nap. That was hard on you." I say. Peeta nods, and we stand up, me putting my hand on Peeta's waist. I pull him into the living room and lay him down on the couch.

"Please, I'll only sleep if you lay beside me all the time." he says, and I don't hesitate to obey. I lay down beside him, and he puts his arm around me. I hug him tight, and after just a few minutes, he is sleeping like a log. I lay there for a while, stroking his hair, and then Gale walks in. He sits on the sofa opposite us and rests his elbows on his knees.

"Does this happen a lot?" he asks, frowning.

"No, just maybe once or twice in a month." I say with a sweet voice, a voice that you would use talking to small children. I use that voice when I'm babying Peeta. "It gets this bad only a few times a year." I say, turning to Peeta to kiss his cheek softly. His blond lashes are glistening with the tears he shed a while ago.

"Well, that was really bad. It really made you feel sorry for him." Gale says. This is new. Gale feels sorry for Peeta. I feel him stir and he wakes up.

"No! No, please..." Peeta says. Then he looks at me and realises I am still here. He hugs me tighter and falls asleep again. I know he dreamt of me dying in some way, that's what his dreams usually are about, he has told me. "I hope you'll be okay." Gale says and leaves the room. With 'you' I know he means both me and Peeta. After him, I am surprised to see Haymitch walk in. He is followed by Annie, who stays by the door. I see that she's been crying a little. Maybe she started thinking of Finnick. Haymitch sits down on the spot where Gale just had been sitting. He clears his throat.

"You know, I really feel sorry for the boy. He doesn't deserve this. But the Capitol had no mercy, especially not towards the kindhearted." he says, standing up and patting both me and Peeta's heads. Nobody walks in after he has left the room.