Don't Do This

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At lunch, Kirishima was talking with Tetsutetsu who had come over to their table. Bakugou remembered they had interned together and had almost the same quirk. They had become good friends because of it.

"Hey man, I saw that you train with Bakugou all the time! Do you think I could spar with you for a bit after school?" He heard Tetsutetsu ask.

"Yeah for sure! We were going to go anyway, why don't you join us?" Kirishima offered.

That afternoon Bakugou and Kirishima went through their usual training when Tetsutetsu caught up with them in the training room. "I'm just gonna do some weights so you two can knock yourselves out. Again," Bakugou quipped. He walked over to the weights and started some curls.

The two boys' happy voices floated over to him as he worked. They really were so similar, it was weird. He finished up his routine and they were still going at it so he slumped onto the bench to wait.

As Bakugou watched Kirishima trade blows with Tetsutetsu the niggling feeling he'd had in his stomach started to grow. As with any seed that's given enough energy it will grow and bloom and that was exactly what had happened to Bakugou's kernel of worry.

The two radiated positivity, bringing each other up with each shared encouragement and joke.

Bakugou realised, with a weight pressing around his heart, that he would never be the kind of person that deserved Kirishima. He deserved positivity and optimism, something Bakugou didn't think he was capable of.

He silently slid off the bench and left the training room. Slipping out before anyone could see the tears that had collected in his eyes.

Bakugou didn't go down to dinner that night. Instead, he stayed curled in the ball in his bed that he had been in for the last few hours.

Kirishima was really worried, he'd realised that Bakugou had left the training room before he had finished sparring with Tetsutetsu but he just figured he had got bored of watching and gone back to their dorms.

But when he hadn't been in Kirishima's room and then not come down to eat he realised that something must be really wrong.

He tapped lightly on Bakugou's door. "Katsuki? You in there?"

Silence. Maybe he'd gone home or something? No, surely he would have let him know.

He went to knock again when he heard shuffling from the room and the door opened. Bakugou gave him a weak smile and opened the door for him to come in.

"When you hadn't come to bed I thought something was wrong. Are you ok?" Kirishima asked, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just figured we should probably cool it at school you know?" Bakugou lied.

"Ah yeah, that makes sense. So are you sleeping in here from now on?" Kirishima asked, somewhat dejectedly.

"Yeah, probably should," Bakugou stated.

"Want me to stay with you for a bit?" Kirishima asked hopefully.

Bakugou should have said no, he should have turned him away but he couldn't. He selfishly needed Kirishima's warmth for just a little longer.

Kirishima beamed and it squeezed at Bakugou's heart, making him feel sick. He shut the door and hopped into the bed, making room beside him. Bakugou wrapped his arms around Kirishima's waist, clinging to him tightly.

Kirishima frowned but hugged him back. Something was definitely wrong.

After about an hour of laying this way, not speaking, Bakugou spoke up, "You should probably go to bed. It's pretty late."

"Ahh, yeah, ok. Katsuki, you would tell me if something was wrong wouldn't you?"

Bakugou merely nodded.

Kirishima climbed out of bed, "Well goodnight then, I'll see you in the morning. Sleep well. I love you Katsuki." He placed a light kiss on Bakugou's head before he left.

Kirishima had barely closed his door before a sob escaped Bakugou's throat and he let the tears fall freely this time.

Kirishima got into his own bed, he caught the smell of caramel as he pulled the blankets up around his neck. The sick feeling around his heart mixed with the scent of Bakugou combined to be too much and tears started to pool in his eyes, slowly escaping down his cheeks.

The next few days were even worse. Bakugou had retreated into himself, his walls holding all his emotions inside. Kirishima felt helpless, he didn't know what he had done but Katsuki was pulling away from him.

He hadn't retreated to his old self either though, there were no outbursts or yelling. And that was the problem, he'd shown no emotion at all.

Bakugou needed to do it now. He knew he'd been hurting Kirishima so he needed to do it before he hurt him even more. He tapped lightly on his door.

Kirishima answered almost immediately, a smile on his face as he saw who it was. Hope bloomed in his chest that Bakugou had come to him. The feeling faded quickly though at the look on Katsuki's face.

Bakugou hesitated for a second before he entered the room, shutting the door behind him. He needed to do this. He wanted better for Kirishima than what he could give him. He needed to put someone else before himself this time.

"I can't do this," Bakugou stated, voice flat.

Kirishima reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing. "What are you talking about?"

"This," he said gesturing between them with his free hand.

"Katsuki if we went too fast or you don't want to say I love you again for a while, that's ok. Tell me what to do," Kirishima said, confusion and alarm making his voice rise in pitch as he spoke.

Bakugou tensed at the words but shook his head "I just..." he took a deep breath "I just can't do it."

Tears started to blur Kirishima's vision and he squeezed his hand. "Tell me what to do. I can fix this. Damn it, Katsuki, I love you. Don't you care?"

Bakugou's breath was coming quickly, "You didn't do anything. Don't you dare change, Kiri. You're too fucking good." He knew he shouldn't have, it was selfish of him but he wrapped Kirishima in a one armed hug, the other hand still holding his.

"What do you mean?" Kirishima choked out. But Bakugou didn't answer, he just squeezed him tightly one more time.

"Don't do this, Katsuki," Kirishima whispered through his tears that were falling heavy now. "I need you," he choked out. He still had hold of Bakugou's hand but he watched in slow motion as the boy stepped back, Bakugou's hand slipping through his outstretched fingers, his hand falling to his side.

Bakugou turned and left, shutting the door quietly but with a sense of finality.

Kirishima slid to his knees on the floor and wept.

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